介绍： 2 What you don’t know about marriage
关于婚姻你所不知道的事

speaker：Jenna McCarthy，writes about relationships, marriage and parenting.

00:00
Here's an interesting one. One study found that people who smile in childhood photographs are less likely to get a divorce. This is an actual study, and let me clar...

介绍： 2 What you don’t know about marriage
关于婚姻你所不知道的事

speaker：Jenna McCarthy，writes about relationships, marriage and parenting.

00:00
Here's an interesting one. One study found that people who smile in childhood photographs are less likely to get a divorce. This is an actual study, and let me clarify: the researchers were not looking at documented self-reports of childhood happiness, or even studying old journals. The data were based entirely on whether people looked happy in these early pictures. Now, I don't know how old all of you are, but when I was a kid, your parents took pictures with a special kind of camera that held something called "film." And, by God, film was expensive. They didn't take 300 shots of you in that rapid-fire digital video mode and then pick out the nicest, smiliest one for the Christmas card. Oh, no. They dressed you up, they lined you up, and you smiled for the fucking camera like they told you to or you could kiss your birthday party goodbye. But still, I have a huge pile of fake happy childhood pictures and I'm glad they make me less likely than some people to get a divorce.
另一项有趣的研究发现，在童年时期的照片里笑着的人离婚率较低，这是一项真实的研究。让我解释一下，研究人员并不是看文字记录的童年幸福记录，或者从前的日记之类，数据全部来源于显示在这些早年的照片中人们是不是看上去高兴。我不清楚在座各位的年龄，但当我还是小孩儿时，家长拍照用的是一种特殊的相机，里面装着一种叫胶卷的东西，天哪，胶卷这玩意儿真是贵，他们可不是拍上300张，用那种数码录像的帧数速度，然后再挑上一张最漂亮的，笑得最好的照片放在圣诞卡上，哦不是的，他们把你打扮好，排上队，然后叫你冲着相机笑，要不然生日派对直接结束。即使这样，我也有一大堆假装幸福的童年照片，我很庆幸这些照片让我看起来不那么容易离婚。

01:07
So, what else can you do to safeguard your marriage? Do not win an Oscar for best actress. I'm serious. Bettie Davis, Joan Crawford, Halle Berry, Hilary Swank, Sandra Bullock, Reese Witherspoon -- all of them single, soon after taking home that statue. They actually call it the Oscar curse. It is the marriage kiss of death and something that should be avoided.
你还能做什么来守卫你的婚姻？不要去赢奥斯卡影后，我是认真的，贝蒂·戴维斯、琼·克劳馥、哈利·贝瑞、希拉里·斯旺克、桑德拉·布洛克、瑞茜·威瑟斯彭，她们所有人在把小金人带回家后不久都成了单身，真的有种说法叫“奥斯卡诅咒” ，这是婚姻的死亡之吻，应该极力避免。

01:33
And it's not just successfully starring in films that's dangerous. It turns out, merely watching a romantic comedy causes relationship satisfaction to plummet. Apparently, the bitter realization that maybe it could happen to us, but it obviously hasn't and it probably never will, makes our lives seem unbearably grim in comparison. And theoretically, I suppose if we opt for a film where someone gets brutally murdered or dies in a fiery car crash, we are more likely to walk out of that theater feeling like we've got it pretty good.
在电影里成功饰演角色不是唯一危险的，研究发现，只是看一部浪漫喜剧就能导致婚姻关系满意度直线下降，很明显，苦涩地意识到片中故事有可能是真的，但尚未也很可能永远不会发生在自己身上，这种认识更加突显了人生不能承受之殇，人比人气死人。理论上说，假设我们选择看一部电影，角色被残忍的杀害，或者死于惨烈的交通事故，我们走出电影院时，感觉可能还相当好。

02:12
Drinking alcohol, it seems, is bad for your marriage. Yeah. I can't tell you anymore about that one because I stopped reading it at the headline. But here's a scary one: divorce is contagious. That's right, when you have a close couple friend split up, it increases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent. Now, I have to say, I don't get this one at all. My husband and I have watched quite a few friends divide their assets and then struggle with being our age and single in an age of s-e-xting and Viagra and eHarmony. And I'm thinking they've done more for my marriage than a lifetime of therapy ever could.
饮酒似乎是对婚姻不利的，是的，我没什么可告诉你们的，因为（这篇文章）我读到标题就不读了。这还有一条可怕的，离婚会传染，没错，如果你的好朋友分手了，你自己离婚的可能性会增加75%，这条一点儿也不适用于我自己，我丈夫和我目睹了一些朋友分家产，挣扎着生活。在我们这个年龄独身，在这个充斥色情短信和伟哥的时代，还有相亲网站，我却觉得这些朋友（的经历）对于我自己婚姻的帮助比终身治疗的帮助还要大。

02:58
So now you may be wondering: Why does anyone get married ever? Well, the US federal government counts more than a thousand legal benefits to being someone's spouse. A list that includes visitation rights in jail, but hopefully, you'll never need that one. But beyond the profound federal perks, married people make more money. We're healthier, physically and emotionally. We produce happier, more stable and more successful kids. We have more s-e-x than our supposedly swinging single friends, believe it or not. We even live longer, which is a pretty compelling argument for marrying someone you like a lot in the first place.
你们可能会问人们为什么要结婚？美国联邦政府列举出上千条法律上的结成配偶的好处，包括监狱探视权，但愿大家永远别用到这一条，除了各种各样的政策福利，已婚人士收入更高 更健康，无论是肉体上还是精神上，生养更快乐、情绪更稳定、更成功的下一代，已婚人士有更多性爱，比起他们看似放纵的单身朋友，信不信由你。已婚人士更长寿，这是个用来结婚很有力的理由，但前提是你要非常喜欢你的对象。

03:47
Now, if you're not currently experiencing the joy of the joint tax return, I can't tell you how to find a chore-loving person of the approximately ideal size and attractiveness, who prefers horror movies and doesn't have a lot of friends hovering on the brink of divorce, but I can only encourage you to try, because the benefits, as I've pointed out, are significant. The bottom line is: whether you're in it or you're searching for it, I believe marriage is an institution worth pursuing and protecting. So I hope you'll use the information I've given you today to weigh your personal strengths against your own risk factors.
如果你目前没有享受到联合纳税申报的喜悦，我无法告诉你如何找到一个热爱家务的人，有着近乎理想的身材和吸引力，爱看恐怖电影，又没有太多身处离婚危险的朋友，我只能鼓励你去积极尝试。因为就如我刚刚指出的结婚好处多多关键在于，无论你已婚还是在寻找姻缘，我相信婚姻制度都是值得施行和维护的，希望大家能用上今天我提供的信息来扬长避短。

04:25
For instance, in my marriage, I'd say I'm doing OK. One the one hand, I have a husband who's annoyingly lean and incredibly handsome. So I'm obviously going to need fatten him up. And like I said, we have those divorced friends who may secretly or subconsciously be trying to break us up. So we have to keep an eye on that. And we do like a cocktail or two. On the other hand, I have the fake happy picture thing. And also, my husband does a lot around the house, and would happily never see another romantic comedy as long as he lives.
譬如我自己我，的婚姻还不错，但是我丈夫苗条地让人羡慕嫉妒恨，还无可救药的帅，显然我要赶紧让他发福，我也说过，我们有那些离了婚的朋友，心怀不轨或是无意识地要拆散我们，我们得小心了。我们也喜欢来一两杯，不过我有那些假装高兴的照片，而我丈夫做很多家务，也绝对乐意永远不看爱情喜剧。

05:04
So I've got all those things going for me. But just in case, I plan to work extra hard to not win an Oscar anytime soon. And for the good of your relationships, I would encourage you to do the same. I'll see you at the bar.
所以形势于我还是有利的，不过要以防万一，我要加倍努力，绝对不要拿到小金人，为了你们自己的婚姻，我鼓励你们也这样做，我们酒吧见。