介绍： 1 A better way to talk about love
如何更好地谈论爱情

Speaker:Mandy Len Catron,writer.

00:00
OK,so today I want to talk about how we talk abut love.and specifically,I want to talk about what’s wrong with how we talk about love.most of us will probably fall in love a few times over the course of our lives,a...

介绍： 1 A better way to talk about love
如何更好地谈论爱情

Speaker:Mandy Len Catron,writer.

00:00
OK,so today I want to talk about how we talk abut love.and specifically,I want to talk about what’s wrong with how we talk about love.most of us will probably fall in love a few times over the course of our lives,and in the English language this metaphor,falling,is really the main way that we talk about that experience.I don’t know about you,but when I conceptualize this metaphor,what I picture is straight out of a cartoon--like there’s a man,he’s walking down the sidewalk,without realizing it,he crosses over open manhole,and he just plummets into the sewer below.
今天我想讨论一下我们谈论爱情的方法。明确地说是我想讨论一下我们谈论爱情时犯的错误。我们大多数人在一生中可能会不止一次陷入爱河，而在英语语言中，用“坠入”比喻恋爱是我们谈论恋爱体验的一个主要方式。我不知道你们怎么想的，但是当我对这个比喻概念化时，我脑海中毫不犹豫出现的画面是动画片，就像有个男人，他正走在人行道上，不经意间走过一个井口，然后扑通一声掉进了下水道。

00:52:
and I picture it this way because falling is not jumping.falling is accidental,it’s uncontrollable.it’s something that happens to us without our consent.and this--this is the main way we talk about starting a new relationship.I’m a writer and I’m also an English teacher,which means I think about words for a living.and you could say that I get paid to argue that the language we use matters,and I would like to argue that many of the metaphors we use to talk about love--maybe even most of them--are a problem.
我这样想象是因为“坠入”与“跳入”不同。坠入是意外的不能控制的。它的发生是未经我们允许的。这就是我们讨论一段开始的新恋情的主要描述方式。我是一个作家也是一名英语老师，这就意味着我靠咬文嚼字生活，你也可以说我的工作就是告诉别人日常用语是很要紧的，而我想谈论的是许多我们用来形容爱情的比喻，甚至可能是大多数，都是有问题的。

01:30:
so,in love,we fall.we’re struck.we are crushed.we swoon.we burn with passion.love makes us crazy,and it makes us sick.our hearts ache,and then they break.so our metaphors equate the experience of loving someone to extreme violence or illness.they do.and they position us as the victims of unforeseen and totally unavoidable circumstances.my favorite one of these is “smitten,”which is the past participle of the word”smite.”and if you look this word up in the dictionary--you will see that it can be defined as both”grievous affliction,”and,”to be very much in love.”
所以说，我们会“坠入”爱河。爱情突如其来，我们不能自拔，我们如痴如醉。我们被热情燃烧。爱情使我们疯狂、生病。我们心痛到心碎。所以我们的比喻把爱一个人的体验等同于极暴力和病态。事实真是如此。这些比喻把我们定位成某种未知的、完全不可避免的事件的受害者。其中我最喜欢的单词“smitten”是“smite”的过去分词。如果你在词典里查询这个单词，你会发现它可以被定义为“惨痛的折磨”和“被迷得神魂颠倒”。

02:25:
I tend to associate the word”smite” with a very particular context,which is the Old Testament.in the Book of Exodus alone,there are 16 references to smiting,which is the word that the Bible uses for the vengeance of an angry God.here we are using the same word to talk about love that we use to explain a plague locusts.right?so,how did this happen?how have we come to associate love with great pain and suffering?and why do we talk about this ostensibly good experience as if we are victims?these are difficult questions,but I have some theories.and to think this through,I want to focus on one metaphor in particular,which is the idea of love as madness.
这个单词常使我联想到一段特殊文字，那就是《圣经·旧约》。仅在《出埃及记》中，就16次提及这个单词，它被《圣经》用来形容愤怒的神的复仇。而如今这个用来形容爱情的词，原本是拿来形容蝗灾的。对吧？所以，为什么会这样？我们怎么会把爱情和巨大的伤痛和苦难联系在一起？还有我们为什么会讨论这种美好的假象，好像自己是受害者？这些很难回答，但是我有一些理论。为了解释清楚，我想集中于谈谈这样一个比喻，那就是把爱情喻为疯狂的观点。

03:13:
so when I first started researching romantic love,I found these madness metaphors everywhere.the history of Western culture is full of language that equates love to mental illness.these are just a few examples.William Shakespeare:”love is merely a madness,”form “as you like it.”Fried-rich Nietzsche:”there is always some madness in love.”got me looking,got me looking so crazy in love--”from the great philosopher,Beyonce’ Knowles.I fell in love for the first time when I was 20,and it was a pretty turbulent relationship right from the start.and it was long distance for the first couple of years,so for me that meant very high highs and very low lows.I can remember one moment in particular.
当我第一次着手研究浪漫爱情时，我发现“疯狂”这个比喻无处不在。西方历史文化中充满了把爱情等同于精神疾病这种语言文字。这里有一些例子，威廉莎士比亚说过“爱情不过是一种疯狂”，出自《皆大欢喜》。哲学家尼采说过：“爱情总是有些疯狂的”还有“你的爱，你的爱让我如此疯狂...”来自于伟大的“哲学家”，碧昂斯·诺里斯。我第一次陷入爱情是在我20岁的时候，那是一段自始至终都非常凌乱的爱情。刚开始那几年还是异地恋，所以对于我来说这就意味着很高的高潮和很低的低谷，我还记得一个特别的瞬间。

04:05:
I was sitting on a bed in a hostel in South America,and I was watching the person I love walk out the door.and it was late,it was nearly midnight,we’d gotten into argument over dinner,and when we got back our room,he threw his thighs in the bag and stormed out.while I can no longer remember what that argument was about, I very clearly remember how I felt watching him leave.I was 22,it was my first time in the developing world,and I was totally alone.I had another week until my flight home,and I knew the name of the town that I was in,and the name of the city that needed to get to to fly out,but I had no idea how to get around.I had no guidebook and very little money,and I spoke no Spanish.
我坐在南美的一个旅社的一张床上看着我的爱人冲出门外。当时很晚了，将近午夜，我们在晚饭时发生了争吵，当我们回到房间后，他把东西扔到包里，径直冲出了房间。而我已经不再记得我们到底因为什么争吵，我能够很清晰地记得的是看着他离开时我的感受。我22岁时，我第一次孤身一人去了发展中国家。距离我回家还有一周，我知道我所在的那个小镇的名字，也知道我要飞离南美的出发地城市的名字，但是我不知道怎么走。我没有向导书，钱也很少，而且不会讲西班牙语。