介绍： 公众号：英音客栈

By the age of just 22, influential novelist Virginia Woolf had already suffered two nervous breakdowns – brought on, it’s believed, by the deaths of her mother and half-sister in quick succession, and then her father some years later. Unfortunately, the struggle didn’t end there for Virgi...

介绍： 公众号：英音客栈

By the age of just 22, influential novelist Virginia Woolf had already suffered two nervous breakdowns – brought on, it’s believed, by the deaths of her mother and half-sister in quick succession, and then her father some years later. Unfortunately, the struggle didn’t end there for Virginia and she fought off numerous bouts of depression throughout her lifetime, until the very end.

著名小说家弗吉尼亚·伍尔夫在22 岁之前，已经历过两次精神崩溃—据信，因其母及同母异父的姐姐相继离世，她第一次精神崩溃，几年后其父过世又引起了她第二次精神崩溃。不幸的是，弗吉尼亚的挣扎并未结束，她无数次与抑郁症斗争，直至生命尽头。

One evening in March 1941, Virginia attempted to end her life by jumping into a river; however, she failed and simply returned home, sodden. Sadly, she persisted, and a few days later, on March 28th 1941, she tried again and this time succeeded in escaping a lifetime of mental illness.

1941 年3 月的一天傍晚，弗吉尼亚试图跳河自尽，自杀未遂的她全身湿透回到了家里。很可惜，她没有就此放弃，几天后的1941 年3月28 日，她再次投河，这一次，她逃离了为精神疾病所困扰的一生。

On the day of her death, unaware of her whereabouts, Virginia’s husband, Leonard, discovered this heartbreaking letter on their mantelpiece. Her body was found weeks later in the River Ouse, the pockets of her coat filled with heavy rocks.

弗吉尼亚自尽当天，她的丈夫伦纳德不知她的下落，在家里的壁炉台上发现了这封令人心碎的信。几周后，她的尸体在欧塞河被发现，她上衣口袋里装满了沉重的石头。

Dearest,

I feelcertain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of thoseterrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and Ican’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You havegiven me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all thatanyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till thisterrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling yourlife, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t evenwrite this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all thehappiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me andincredibly good. I want to say that – everybody knows it. If anybody could havesaved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certaintyof your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

Idon’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.

 

最亲爱的：

我一定是又要发疯了。我不觉得我们还能再挺过一段饱受煎熬的日子。而且这一次我也不会恢复了。我开始出现幻听，无法集中精神，因此我要去做看来算是最恰当的事。你已给予我最大可能的幸福。你在方方面面都做到了任何人所能做到的一切。我相信，在这可怕的疾病到来前，没有哪两个人能比我们更加幸福。我撑不下去了。我知道我正在破坏你的生活—没有我，你本能做自己的事。很快你就能这样了。你看，我已经写不下去了，我不知道说什么好。我想要说的是，我欠你一生的幸福。你对我一直十分耐心，你好到难以置信。我要把这一点说出来—大家也都知道，假如有谁曾救过我，那也只有你。除了你对我的好，一切都已离我而去。我不能再继续破坏你的生活。

我相信，我们曾是世界上最幸福的人。

                                                                         

文章来源：Letters of Note 《见信如唔》
编辑：英音均 Juniper
主播：英音均 Juniper
背景音乐：Morning Prayer - Brad Jacobsen
图片：源于网络
注：本篇节目的引用文字、背景音乐和图片均归其原作者或版权方所有。