介绍： Season 10-14: The One With Princess Consuela (Part 2)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
Monica: Thank you for letting us see the house again.
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said,...

介绍： Season 10-14: The One With Princess Consuela (Part 2)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
Monica: Thank you for letting us see the house again.
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
Realtor: Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through.
Monica: Ah, so glad you decided to come.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so ha-ppy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Chandler: What?
Joey: Fungus! Yeah. Place is full of it.
Monica: No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry e-yes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Monica: Maybe because it's you hung your head out of the window like a dog the whole ride here.
Joey: Maybe. So this is the living room huh? Ooh, it's pretty dark.
Monica: No it's not!
Joey: Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Chandler: When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
Joey: Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do bet-ter than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Monica: Oh Joey, look, we know you're having a hard time with this, but we really, we love it here.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so mu-ch, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Joey:no...hmmmmm..it's not...hmmmmmmmmm
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: Hey
Phoebe: Welcome back!
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Phoebe: Oh, me too!
Mike: So, what's new?
Phoebe: Well, I'm no longer Phoebe Buffay.
Mike: That's great! You changed you name?
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock!
Mike: You're kidding right?
Phoebe: Nope.
Mike: You really did that?
Phoebe: Yep.
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Phoebe: Why? It's fun, it's different, no-one else has a name like it.
Mike: Alright, then I'm gonna change my name.
Phoebe: Great, okay, what are you gonna change it to?
Mike: Crap Bag.
Phoebe: Mike Crap Bag?
Mike: No, no Mike, just Crap Bag. First name Crap, last name Bag.
Phoebe: You're not serious, right?
Mike: Yeah, I'm serious. It's fun, it's different and no-one else has a name like that!
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
[Scene: Joey is in Monica and Chandler's future house, sitting in a child's bedroom, looking at a quiz card which has "5 10=" printed on one side.]
Joey: Ow!
Girl: Who are you?
Joey: Oh, hi, I'm Joey. My stupid friends are b-uying this house. Who are you?
Girl: I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.
Joey: Oh.
Mackenzie: I hate my parents.
Joey: I hate my friends. Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Mackenzie: Like what?
Joey: Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Mackenzie: What are you? Eight?
Joey: Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea.
Mackenzie: I don't have any great ideas. I am eight.
Joey: Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: I really don't.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Mackenzie: My parents say I'm gonna make new friends.
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways.
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Joey: Yeah, maybe.
Mackenzie: Then you gotta let them go.
Joey: I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Joey: Just when I thought we could be friends.
[Scene: Outside Ralph Lauren building. Rachel just walked out carrying a box of her stuff, and a strange man approaches her.]
Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
Rachel: Oh, thank you...
Man: You still don't know my name, do you?
Rachel: Well, now I don't have to.
Rachel: Ross, what is taking you so long?
Ross: I'm sorry, it's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway!
Mark: Rachel?
Rachel: Mark? Oh my God!
Mark: How've you been?
Rachel: I'm fantastic. You remember Ross?
Mark: Sure, sure. What's with the chair.
Ross: Uh, you know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so...
Mark: Clever. So how are you?
Rachel: Oh, well, you're not catching me on my best d-ay.
Mark: Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't exactly say big promotion.
Rachel: No, but it's good, you know, I'm gonna take some time off and do some charity work.
Mark: Are you sure, because we may have something at Louis Vuitton.
Rachel: Well, screw charity work. What've you got?
Mark: Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?
Rachel: Great! I'll call ya!
Mark: Nice to see you.
Ross: Yeah! yeah, I got tenure!
Rachel: Oh my God!
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Rachel: Ross! That's Mark. From Bloomingdales? You were insanely jealous of him.
Ross: That is Mark?
Rachel: Yes.
Ross: I hate that guy.
Rachel: Oh.
Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Rachel: What? You don't want me to get a job?
Ross: Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary.
Rachel: Ugh.
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Rachel: Ross, you know what? Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's new house. Sitting near the window, they look at the neighborhood.]
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Chandler: Man, those two dogs are going at it!
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Hey, where have you been?
Joey: Oh, just er... you know, looking around. But you know what? This house... is great.
Chandler: Really? What changed your mind?
Joey: Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot bet-ter about the whole thing.
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Joey: What?
Chandler: Ha! I'm just messing with you.
Joey: That's not funny! You know I'm afraid of little girl ghosts!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Chandler: You don't think we'd b-uy a house and not have a Joey room do you?
Joey: Oh my God! Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Chandler and Monica: No!
Joey: Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Mike: After you, miss Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Thank you, mister Bag.
Woman: Oh hey, how are you?
Phoebe: Oh hi Rita! Good! Oh, Rita's a massage client.
Mike: Oh! Why don't you in-troduce me?
Phoebe: Er, Rita, this is my husband.
Rita: Oh!
Phoebe: Yeah.
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Phoebe: Okay, I will. This is my husband Crap Bag.
Rita: Crap Bag?
Mike: If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
Rita: Okay. Excuse me...
Phoebe: Yeah... Ogh... Okay, fine. You made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: How about uhm... How about Buffay-Hannigan?
Mike: Really?
Phoebe: Yeah. I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan Banana Hammock.
Mike: Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
Phoebe: It's a funny word.
Mike: It's a Speedo.
Phoebe: ...Oh crap!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey, is Rachel here?
Monica: No.
Ross: She's still at dinner?
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Chandler: It's seven years ago. My time machine works!
Ross: We ran into him on the street tod-ay and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Chandler: Excuse me?
Monica: Oh please! Yesterd-ay on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Monica: Oh, sorry!
Rachel: Hi you guys!
Ross: Hey, so uhm... How was dinner?
Rachel: Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
Ross: Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Ross: Should we send something?
Chandler: How did the job stuff go?
Rachel: He offered me one.
Chandler: That's great!
Ross: Congratulations!
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so mu-ch bet-ter than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The mo-ney is great...
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something bet-ter would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.
Rachel: The job is in Paris.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey's on the phone.]
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of m-yself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Mackenzie: I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on.
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
END