介绍： Season 10-14: The One With Princess Consuela (Part 1)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Mike: Thank you guys for having us over.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more ofte...

介绍： Season 10-14: The One With Princess Consuela (Part 1)
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. They are having a diner party with Phoebe and Mike.]
Mike: Thank you guys for having us over.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah, this is fun, couples night.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.
Ross: Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Monica: Ross, we're kind of in the middle of diner here.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! Guess what happened at work tod-ay...
Chandler: A dinosaur died a million years ago?
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met tod-ay and I hear it's looking really good.
Phoebe: Wow!
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: Hi you guys.
All: Hey.
Rachel: Ooh, Italian!
Monica: No one wanted seconds, right?
Ross: No, no. I-I'm good.
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Ross: I'm up for tenure.
Rachel: Congratulations!
Ross: You too! What are the odds?
Rachel: Ooh!
Joey: Guess what? I finally got that seed out of m-y teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all d-ay!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this.
Phoebe: Where did you go to do it?
Monica: Uhm the... the ministry... of names... bureau...
Chandler: YOU NEVER DID IT!
Monica: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mike: Here you go.
Phoebe: Thanks! Honey, would you want me to take your name?
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Phoebe: All right, let's see, call me Mrs. Hannigan.
Chandler: Mrs. Hannigan?
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Joey: Hey guys.
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
Joey: No, thank you.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Chandler: Yeah, come with us. You'll see how close it is to the city.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so mu-ch to us.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Chandler: Damn it.
Monica: See you guys later.
Phoebe: Okay!
Monica: I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.
Phoebe: Good for you. That was really mature.
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Mike: You're a strange kind of grown-up.
Phoebe: Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do. Believe me, there's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed and there's... he's just...
Mike: Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now?
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye!
[Scene: A restaurant. Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing.
Maitre d': Mr. Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table.
Rachel: Oh my God! That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.
Maitre d': I'm sorry. That's always Mr. Campbell's table.
Rachel: But my... but my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job.
Maitre d': I know. With Gukki
Rachel: Sssshhhh!
Mr Zellner: Rachel?
Rachel: Hi... I'm on a date...
Mr Zellner: That's great!
Rachel: Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom, career... You gotta get out there.
Mr Zellner: Well, you got uhm... good energy.
Rachel: Oh.
Mr Campbell: Rachel?
Rachel: Yes, hi!
Mr Campbell: James Campbell...
Rachel: Hi! Excuse us.
Mr Campbell: Please...
Rachel: Okay. Oh, yeah... Oh he's cute!
Mr Campbell: So... your resumé is quite impressive.
Rachel: Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé.
Mr Campbell: Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resumé.
Rachel: Whatever happened to just singing for no reason? Huh?
Mr Campbell: Maybe people... found it weird.... So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?
Rachel: What? I-I don't.
Mr Campbell: You don't?
Rachel: No, I-I-I love it there.
Mr Campbell: Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
Mr Campbell: What?
Mr Campbell: That's Hugo Boss?
[Scene: A counter at a government building. Phoebe's waiting in line.]
Phoebe: This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill m-yself. But you obviously haven't.
Clerk: How can I help you?
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. You're fun.
Clerk: You need to fill out this form.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Clerk: It can be anything you want.
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Clerk: Yeah... anything.
Phoebe: Oh, this could take a while.
Clerk: Get out of m-y line.
Phoebe: Okay.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Hey Pheebs.
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it tod-ay.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Chandler: That's what we were gonna name the baby.
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: Uh! Princess Consuela.
Monica: You seriously changed your name to that?
Phoebe: Uh-huh!
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Phoebe: Uhm, no. I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
Chandler: Hey, how'd the interview go?
Rachel: Oh! It's not good.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went bet-ter than you think.
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Chandler: That is a bad interview.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you talking about? How did this happen?
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the sa-me restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! No, Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Monica: Oh God. I'm so sorry.
Ross: Hey! Wha-hoo! What's this? Well it's a, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
Phoebe: Ross...
Ross: I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE!
All: Congratulations!
Ross: This is the single greatest d-ay of m-y professional career. Gunther, six glasses!
Gunther: Six? You want me to join you?
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Chandler: Ooh! Israeli champagne. And it's vanilla!
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Rachel: Oh it... good! Yeah, but I'm not gonna hear from that for a couple of d-ays.
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
Phoebe: Can you?
Rachel: Ah, all right. Here's to Ross!
Ross: And-and to years of hard work finally paying off.
Phoebe: And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything.
Ross: But also knowing it means a lot.
Monica: But more importantly to full well-rounded lives.
Ross: ...that center around work.
Chandler: To Ross!
All: Ross!
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Phoebe: Oh God!
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Rachel: No, it's not that. I got fired tod-ay. And I didn't get the other job.
Ross: Rach, I'm so sorry.
Rachel: Oh!
Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot.
Rachel: No, it's okay, you didn't know.
Ross: Oh... Little heads-up would have been nice.
(To be continued)