介绍： Season 10-7: The One With The Home Study (Part 1)
[Scene: Central Perk]
Ross: Hey you guys!
Phoebe: Hey!
Ross: Hey, what are you doing?
Mike: Oh, figuring out our wed-ding plans.
Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the sa-me thing!
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I ...

介绍： Season 10-7: The One With The Home Study (Part 1)
[Scene: Central Perk]
Ross: Hey you guys!
Phoebe: Hey!
Ross: Hey, what are you doing?
Mike: Oh, figuring out our wed-ding plans.
Chandler: That's funny, we were doing the sa-me thing!
Ross: Yeah!
Phoebe: It's really crazy! The hall, the dress, the food... I-I had no idea how expensive this stuff was!
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Phoebe: So what did you two do about it?
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of mo-ney.
Mike: I heard that wed-dings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Ross: Yeah, and I'm responsible for just like half of that.
Phoebe: But really, it does seem like this mo-ney could be put to bet-ter use?
Mike: Are you serious?
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wed-ding mo-ney to charity and we just got married at City Hall?
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. Ross: I've got to say you guys, that's an incredible gesture!
Chandler: Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Ross: No, no, no. The next time it's gonna be a Hawaii at sunset. [pause] But maybe the time after that!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: What's going on?
Chandler: Our adoption social worker is coming by tod-ay so we are cleaning the apartment.
Monica: We?
Chandler: You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways!
Joey: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?
Chandler: Kind of. She's coming by to interview us and see where we live.
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Joey: Hey, maybe I should stop by! She could be a soap opera fan! It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
Chandler: Little people?
Joey: Celebrity.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Chandler: What...? NO!
Monica: Chandler?
Chandler: I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation!
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Chandler: I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine, but that tape is not mine.
Monica: It isn't mine!
Joey: Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
[Scene: The New York City Children's fund hallway.]
Charity guy: May I help you?
Phoebe: Yes. We're here to make a rather sizeable donation to the children.
Charity guy: Well, any contribution, large or small, is always appreciated.
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one.
Charity guy: Well, this is very generous!
Phoebe: And we don't want any recognition. This is completely anonymous.
Mike: Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers.
Phoebe: Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
Charity guy: Well if you like, we can include your names in our newsletter.
Mike: Not necessary.
Phoebe: Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.
Mike: And "X" is spelled uhm... "Mike Hannigan".
Charity guy: Right. Well, on behalf of the children: thank you both very mu-ch.
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Mike: It does. It feels really good!
Phoebe: Oh, look! And we get these free t-shirts!
Charity guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
Phoebe: Mhm... it's moist.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment.]
Ross: Hi!
Rachel: Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!
Ross: Oh, good!
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Ross: Oh, that's OK. I'm sure there are tons of other beau-tiful paleontologists out there.
Rachel: Absolutely.
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Rachel: So, uhm... what are you gonna do tod-ay?
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Rachel: Oh my God, what!?
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Ross: Be-caaauuuse...
Rachel: All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.
Ross: Seriously?
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of m-y hair! And it was uneven for weeks!
Ross: And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. Look, please, just come on, you know, when you see the look on Emma's face, I swear you won't regret it.
Rachel: All right!
Ross: Good, you don't want to be one of those mothers who pass on their irrational fears on their children, do you?
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I'll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Ross: Oh, yeah, that's the sa-me, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Chandler: Ok, ok, here we go.
Monica: Ok.
Chandler: Here we go. Stand up straight. Big smile.
Phoebe: Hello, is this the creepy residence?
Monica: We're waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I'm glad you're here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this. I don't know if you wanna use it, but…
Phoebe: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won't be needing a veil, I actually won't be wearing a dress at all!
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wed-ding!
Phoebe: No, no, no, we're not having a big reception, we took the mo-ney we were gonna spend on a wed-ding and we donate them to the children charity.
Monica: That's crazy! I am sorry. I just can't imagine giving up my one wed-ding d-ay like that!
Phoebe: We, you know, we're different! We don't care about having a huge party. This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? And, ow, I look, why, well, radiant. All right, well, who cares, I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
Monica: That's right. You're making a commitment and that's the sa-me, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Phoebe: City Hall.
Monica: Ow! Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Phoebe: It's ok, it's ok. I made my decision. What I really want is a great big wed-ding.
Monica: Yay!
Chandler: But you already gave all your mo-ney to charity!
Phoebe: Well, I'll just ask for it back!
Chandler: I don't think you can do that!
Monica: Why not! This is her wed-ding d-ay, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
Chandler: That's sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption Lady.
[Scene: The playground. Ross put Emma on the swing and they're ready to play]
Rachel: Ok, careful.
Ross: Ok.
Rachel: Careful, watch her hair. WATCH HER HAIR!
Ross: Rach, she's got like three hairs!
Rachel: I know but they're just so beau-tiful! Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
Ross: I promise you she's safe! No watch how mu-ch she loves this.
Rachel: Ok.
Ross: Ready sweety?
Rachel: Ok.
Ross: Here we go!
Rachel: Ok, careful, ok. Oh, she's smiling! Oh my God, she does like it!
Ross: See, I told you!
Rachel: Awe! Oh my God! Looks, she's a little dare-devil! Oh, let me push, can I push?
Ross: Oh, absolutely!
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. Get the camera, it's in the diaper bag.
Ross: Ok! See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly Ow!
[Scene: The New York City Children's fund ]
Mike: We're seriously asking for our mo-ney back?
Phoebe: It's for our wed-ding d-ay! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the sa-me d-ay? I don't think that that's ever happened before.
Phoebe: Gay, go.
Mike: Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Phoebe: The donation we made earlier, we k…, we w…, we want it back.
Charity guy: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that mo-ney was for a big wed-ding, that we thought we didn't want, but it turns out we do.
Charity guy: So you're asking us to refund your donation to the children?
Mike: Yeah! This feels really good.
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wed-ding is just really important to me.
Charity guy: Hey, it's not my business, besides this is probably a good thing. We really would have been spoiling the children, all those food, and warm clothing…
Phoebe: Hey, that's not fair! A person's wed-ding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn't have a grad-uation party! And I didn't go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.
Mike: She could have been talking about either one of us.
(To be continued)