介绍： Season 9-13:The One Where Monica Sings (Part 1)
[Scene:Chandler and Monica's]
Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who ever did something over he...

介绍： Season 9-13:The One Where Monica Sings (Part 1)
[Scene:Chandler and Monica's]
Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah! OK! Sure! Look! Can we...can we talk about what happened here last night?
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who ever did something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!
Ross: OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about?
Chandler: No!
Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said "No, no. It's too cold, no-body will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony, even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Chandler: So are you gonna...talk to her?
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You know I...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
Chandler: No no no. Good. So you're moving on? Do you have any idea where you're moving?
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me. And then the other d-ay on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Chandler: Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life!
Ross: Well, and how about this? There is an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the inter-departmental Potluck dinner.
Chandler: Why did I get married?!
[Scene:Central Perk]
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks I should have my e-yebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Phoebe: Well it depends.
Joey: On...?
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to, your e-yebrows are...
Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
Phoebe: Your knuckles are kinda hairy too...
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Phoebe: Wow! Talking about high maintenance
Joey: Hey hey! You dye your hair!
Phoebe: I'm a woman!
Joey: Arghhh! Double standards!
Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Phoebe: But everybody sings. It's so mu-ch fun! Last time this adorable old man got out there, forgot all of the words, flipped out and everyone booed him off the stage. So funny.
Monica: It's just, I'm not good at singing.
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a bet-ter singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Phoebe: While drinking...
Monica: I'm there!
Rachel: Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid.
Phoebe: Well yes Rachel but you got something so beau-tiful out there
Rachel: No not that. I kissed Gavin last night.
Phoebe: Oh my god.
Monica: You kissed him?
Rachel: Yeah. It was after the party, we were on the balcony and...
Monica: Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that?
Phoebe: It was the end of the party, you were probably ironing wrapping paper.
Monica: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?
Rachel: You know we were all alone and he was being really nice to me and, oh and he gave me this scarf...
Monica: I thought you hated him?
Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!
Monica: So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy?
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don't know what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four d-ays, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!
[Scene:Beauty salon]
Salon girl: Hi
Joey: Hey. I'm here for my e-yebrow appointment.
Salon girl: Name?
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Salon girl: Ok. Very good. Have a seat right over here Mr. Bing and Sonia will be right with you.
Joey: OK Thanks.. I touched the stuff
Sonia: I'll take care of it
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?
Sonia: Oh absolutely.
Joey: Oh good...
Sonia: Are you looking to meet somebody?
Joey: All right let's just do this.
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face! I'm all right! I'm all right! Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK. Dammit! Woman! How Hoooow!
[Scene:Central Perk]
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....
Ross: That's funny...Do you think you'll ever work again?
Chandler: What are you doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
Chandler: Maybe she didn't move on, you know...maybe that kiss was just an impulsive one-time birthd-ay thing
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
Chandler: Did she go out with him?
Ross: No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.
Chandler: Ah! The high road...
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there! Hey come with me!
Chandler: Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break the ice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Ross: Don't you have to be at work?
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop! Swoop!
Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here's a question: "Would you... would you rather drown or be burnt a-live?"
Blonde girl: Sorry...we were just leaving
Chandler: We still got it!
(To be continued)