介绍： Season 9-17:The One With The Memorial Service (Part 2)
[Scene:Phoebe's apartment.Enter Monica]
Monica:Haha!
Phoebe:You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
Monica:So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door.
Phoebe:Those are my shoes.
Monica:Oh, when you ge...

介绍： Season 9-17:The One With The Memorial Service (Part 2)
[Scene:Phoebe's apartment.Enter Monica]
Monica:Haha!
Phoebe:You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that after I've buzzed you into the building.
Monica:So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door.
Phoebe:Those are my shoes.
Monica:Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
Phoebe:Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feel-ing a lot bet-ter.Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Monica:Who's that?
Phoebe:I ordered Chinese food.
Phoebe:What are the chances? 1 billion Chinese people and they send Mike!?
Monica:What are you doing here?
Mike:Phoebe called me.
Monica:Phoebe!
Phoebe:I'm sorry, I broke down...I wanted to see him.
Monica:Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Phoebe:There is a speakerphone on the base unit...
Monica:Base Unit! Think Monica! Think!
Mike:Look, if I wanna see Phoebe and she wants to see...
Monica:This doesn't concern you!!
Mike:Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of m-y name!
Monica:Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder.
Phoebe:Not if nothing happens.Why can't...why can't we just hang out as friends?
Monica:Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya.You know, I'm your friend and Mike's friend.
Phoebe:Sit down.
Monica:Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend!
Mike:So how've you been?
Monica:I've been pretty good!
Mike:You look really beau-tiful.
Phoebe:Thanks, you look good too.
Monica:Oh no no no no...this is dangerous territory.Keep it clean!
Phoebe:So how's the piano playing going?
Mike:Actually I've been playing a lot of love songs lately.I've missed you.
Phoebe:I've missed you too.
Monica:You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up.And then a pigeon ate it!
[Scene:Ross's Apartment:Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
Chandler:Hey, Ross, I just wanted to apologize...don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me?
Ross:uhu uhu, check this out.
Chandler:Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out...and was being serviced by a policeman.You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Ross:Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses.Nobody posted anything on the website, no-body called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you.Nobody called, no-body wrote anything, no-body cares that I'm dead.Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Chandler:No, come on, you know that's not true.
Ross:What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Chandler:Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
Ross:I can't believe this.Not even my geology lab partner? And I carried that guy!
Chandler:Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
Ross:You're right.There isn't a decent outlet.
Chandler:Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Ross:Exactly!!
Chandler:Ross, what're you...what're you...what are you doing? You're having a memorial service for yourself!?
Ross:No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!
Chandler:Ross, don't press send, don't press se...!
Ross:oh, too late, too late! It's sent...oops sorry and so is the picture of you and the police man...
[Scene:Joey's room:Joey is sitting on his bed reading- DooL transcript when Rachel walks in]
Rachel:I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
Joey:Original or crappy?
Rachel:Original.
Joey:No, sorry haven't seen him.
Rachel:Then what's that big lump under your covers?
Joey:It's Monica, ok?
Rachel:That's not Monica!
Joey:Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
Rachel:Oh God.
Joey:...she's being unreasonable!
Rachel:Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so mu-ch.Oh don't cover its ears!It's because it reminds her of her uncle Joey!
Joey:It does?
Rachel:Yeah! And she's comforted by him because she loves her uncle Joey so mu-ch.
Joey:Really? She...she loves me?
Rachel:Oh yeah! But you know what? If you need Hugsy, don't worry.Emma will totally understand.I won't...but whatever.
Joey:Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if....If Hugsy means that much to Emma then...well she can have him.
Rachel:Oooh...you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up.Look Emma, look who's baaack!
Joey:Look forget it forget it...I can't do it.
Rachel:Are you gonna...you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
Joey:How do you think I got him in the first place?
[Scene:Phoebe's apartment:Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
Monica:Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone.Here's a few things you can discuss:mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Mike:I've missed you so mu-ch! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Phoebe:I know, I want that too, but IS that going to make it too hard?
Mike:It can't be any harder than this...I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I...I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you.If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time...I never would have stopped.
Monica:Kiss him, you fool!!
Phoebe:What?
Monica:Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Phoebe:Oh, I missed you so mu-ch!
Strange man:I knew you'd be here!
Mike:Oh, crap!
Phoebe:Who is this?
Mike:My friend Manny.I asked him to keep me away from you.
Monica:Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Manny:Well, you are not doing a very good job!
Monica:Excuse me?
Manny:What's with the kissing?
Monica:Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Manny:Oh yeah yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing!
Monica:You didn't hear the speech!
Manny:I've heard the speech:"if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her..."
Monica:Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
Manny:You're weak!
Monica:You're...weird!
Manny:Your pants are undone!
Monica:Oh!
Manny:Where did they go?
Monica:Damn it!
Manny:Oh we blew it.I blame m-yself.
Monica:And I blame you too.
[Scene:Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Ross:It's been an hour and not one of m-y classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Chandler:There you go! Someone came!
Ross:Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner!
Monica:Hi, glad you could come.
Chandler:Please, come in.
Tom:Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Chandler:Oh yes, yes...let me...take your coat.
Tom:Thanks...uh...I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Chandler:At least he died doing what he loved...watching blimps.
Ross:Who is he?
Chandler:Some guy, Tom Gordon.
Ross:I don't remember him, but then again I touched so many lives.
Monica:So, did you know Ross well?
Tom:Oh, actually I barely knew him.Yeah, I came because I heard Chandler's news.D'you know if he's seeing anyone?
Monica:Yes, he is.Me.
Tom:What? You...You...Oh! Can I ask you a personal question? Ho-how do you shave your beard so close?
Chandler:Ok Tommy, that's enough mourning for you! Here we go, bye bye!!
Tom:Hey, listen.Call me.
Chandler:Ok!
Ross:I'm dead and no one cares?
Monica:I look like a man??
Chandler:Please, one ridiculous problem at a time!
Ross:It isn't ridiculous, look around! No one's here!
Chandler:You gave them one d-ay's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyd-ay and Monica...it's probably the way you stand!
Ross:Yes, you're right.Still somebody must have seen it...I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone?
Chandler:Oh, that's not true.You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends.Doesn't that count for something?
Ross:Yeah...Oh, great.More party boys for Chandler!
Chandler:I'm sure it's somebody for you.Now, go hide.
Kori:Hi.I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
Chandler:Kori? Kori Weston?
Kori:Yeah...
Chandler:Wow! You look amazing!
Kori:And you are...
Chandler:Chandler, Chandler Bing.I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all.
Monica:You are married though.
Chandler:Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood!
Kori:I can't believe that Ross is gone.It is just so sad.
Chandler:I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Kori:We weren't but we had one class together.He was such a great guy and he talked so passionately about science.I always remembered him.
Chandler:I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Kori:I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out.I guess I really missed my chance.
Ross:But you didn't! I'm still a-live!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you.It's a long story but the things you just said really made my d-ay! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Kori:You sick freak, who does that? I can't believe I had a crush on you!
Ross:Did you hear that? Kori Weston had a crush on me!!
[Scene:Ross' apartment]
Ross:No Mum, I'm not dead.I know it's not something to kid about.It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless.Monica?
END