介绍： Season 9-20:The One With The Soap Opera Party (Part 1)
[Scene: Monica's apartment]
Joey: Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Chandler: Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Chandler: I co...

介绍： Season 9-20:The One With The Soap Opera Party (Part 1)
[Scene: Monica's apartment]
Joey: Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Chandler: Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Chandler: I could fall asleep at a play.
Phoebe: What is it?
Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".
Monica: It sounds interesting!
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett...
Phoebe: I know, I know, we can drive, we can vote, we can work, what more do these broads want?
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Ross: What? How come that you don't have to go!
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next d-ay, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Chandler: Uh, let's see, who do I hate?
Rachel: Oh, sorry... Oops, sorry.
Joey: Hey, here you go.
Rachel: Ooh... oooh... oh, ah... Can I ask you a question?
Monica: Yeah.
Rachel: Do you think it's possible for two friends to fool around and... and not have it be a big- deal?
Monica: No, I don't think it ever works. Why?
Rachel: No reason.
Monica: No, no, Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah
Monica: Who do you wanna fool around with?
Rachel: Nobody, forget it!
Rachel: Maybe.
Monica: You can't!
Rachel: Why? Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
Monica: In the hall.
[Scene: In the hall]
Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey?
Rachel: Yeah! You know, ever since I had that dream about him, and can't get it out of m-y head! And what's the big- deal, people do it all the time!
Monica: Who? Who do you know that are friends that just fool around?
Rachel: Ok, off the top of m-y head... Don and Janet.
Monica: Who, who are they?
Rachel: I know them from work.
Monica: Both of them?
Rachel: No, one of them...
Monica: Which one?
Rachel: I don't know, what were the names I just said?
Monica: Rachel, things can get incredibly complicated.
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we… Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion?
Monica: What the hell are you cooking!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross enters]
Ross: Hey!
Monica: Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Ross: Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work tod-ay.
Chandler: Yes, but, Ross you chose a career of talking about dinosaurs.
Ross: There're these two professors who are joining my department and I have to meet them here and show them around campus.
Monica: What's so bad about that?
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Monica: Ross?
Ross: These aren't suede.
Charlie: Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Gunther: No.
Ross: Hi, hi, I'm Ross Geller.
Charlie: Oh, hi. I'm professor Wealer.
Ross: Oh, oh, that's, that's, that's nice.
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so mu-ch for taking the time out to show me around.
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big- deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Monica: Is he gonna in-troduce us?
Chandler: No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Charlie: And, by the way, I really enjoyed your paper on the connection between geographic isolation and rapid mutagenesis.
Ross: Oh, ha, I wrote that in one minute.
Monica: Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.
Ross: We should probably get going, you know, we got a lot of ground to cover.
Charlie: Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us?
Ross: I don't think so.
Charlie: I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell?
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". An option that many of m-y students use. Shall we?
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
Professor Spafford: Professor Geller?
Ross: Oh, damn it!
[Scene: Joey's apartment]
Jane: Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Hey!
Joey: What's happenin'?
Rachel: Yeah, it's a real shame you can't make it to that one-woman show tonight.
Joey: Oh, I'd love to, but I gotta get up so early the next d-ay and so, you know me, work comes first
Rachel: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight"
Joey: Stupid Jane Rogers!!
Rachel: You are having a party tonight??
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Rachel: And you weren't going to tell us? How did you think you were gonna get away with that?
Joey: I do it every year.
Rachel: You do that every year??
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Rachel: Oh, that's why you got these tickets to that play, to get rid of us??
Joey: Yeah...
Rachel: And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant?
Joey: Yeah...
Rachel: OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory?
Joey: I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
Joey: You're fine, ok? But everyone else acts like an idiot around famous people!
Rachel: Well, then so you just invite me...!
Joey: Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Rachel: OH, a soap opera roof party!! I'm going to a soap opera roof party!! Oh my God, oh my God!! And it's out of m-y system!
[Scene: Ross, Charlie and Professor Spafford are sitting at the table in a restaurant]
Professor Spafford: And then my wife and I went on a cruise to the Galapagos. There was a sea food buffet you wouldn't believe. There were clams, and mussels, and oysters, and cracked crab, and snow crab, and king crab. It's a pity I'm allergic to shellfish.
Ross: So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?
Professor Spafford: And that's not all I'm allergic to.
Ross:Oh, it's not over!
Professor Spafford: I'm also allergic to peanuts, and cashews, and almonds, and filberts...
Ross: So basically all nuts?
Professor Spafford: Interestingly... no.
Charlie: Kinda playing fast and loose with the word "interesting".
Professor Spafford: If you'll excuse me I'm going to use the restroom.
Charlie: Oh my God!!
Ross: I've lost the will to live.
Charlie: Let's ditch him!
Ross: What?
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Ross: Oh... ok, fine. But... ehm... I just have one question for you, ehm... When we exit should we walk, or run, or prance, or stroll...
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
Ross: Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Phoebe: Hi!
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.
Phoebe: Oh, you're a paleonthologist, too! Oh, ok, now, what do you think of Ranion's new theory of species' variegation in segmented arthropods?
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Phoebe: Ah, ah.
Charlie: Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me.
Ross: Ranion's theory of species variegation?
Phoebe: Yeah, I saw the article on your coffee table and I memorized the title to freak you out!
Monica: So, did you two have fun?
Ross: Oh my God, she's great! I mean, we-we have so mu-ch in common and she's just cool, and funny...
Monica: And I don't know if you've noticed but she's a HOTTY!! HI!
Rachel: Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feel-ing really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
Ross: Really? Wh-what's wrong?
Rachel: I don't know! I think it's kind of serious! Oh, you know... I was watching this thing on TV this morning about... Newcastle disease... and I think I -might have it!!
Charlie: Oh, Newcastle disease is a secretion borne virus that only affects chickens and... other poultry.
Rachel: ... Ok, who is this?
Ross: I'm sorry, Rachel, this is Charlie Wealer, she's a collegue.
Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Rachel: Sure! Oh...
Monica: You're not sick!
Rachel: What? Yes, I am!
Monica: Ok, then, why are you... all dressed up??
Rachel: When you're sick, you do whatever you can to make yourself feel bet-ter!
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Monica: Ok, what is this?
Rachel: Ok! Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
Monica: WHAT?
Ross: Wh-what's going on?
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
Charlie: I thought you came to say you were sick.
Rachel: Ok professor or detective?
Phoebe: Joey's having a party and he wasn't gonna invite us?
Rachel: Yeah, and he does it every year! That's why he's sending you to that play! That's why he sent us to that medieval restaurant and to that button factory!
Phoebe: And that horrible museum tour!
Ross: No, I arranged that...
Joey: Hey you guys, I'm turning in. Have fun.
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Joey: What party?
Monica: The game's over! Take off your robe!
Joey: Ok... I mean...
Everyone: No!! Cover it up!!
Joey: Nice to meet ya!
(To be continued)