介绍： Season 9-10:The One With Christmas In Tulsa (Part 1)
[SCENE:Monica and Chandler's Apartment]
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle;
but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Joey...

介绍： Season 9-10:The One With Christmas In Tulsa (Part 1)
[SCENE:Monica and Chandler's Apartment]
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle;
but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Joey: Wow, that was great! You really wrote that?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Chandler: Say goodbye elves, I'm off to Tulsa.
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Ross: You're really not coming back?
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Monica: It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!
Chandler: So, who does?
Phoebe: Oh, I like my job.
Joey: I love my job.
Rachel: Yeah, I can't wait to go back to work.
Ross: I can't get enough dinosaurs!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't be here.
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: Thanks. I'll see you New Year's Day.
Monica: You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve???
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
Monica: No!
Chandler: AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!
[SCENE:Chandler's Office in Tulsa, in the conference room.]
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's no call for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of m-y chair! -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Wendy: Hey!
Others: Hey.
Chandler: Hey. Where've you been?
Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that ins-urance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beau-tiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. Chandler: You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Claudia: My kid's in a play right now.
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Ken: "A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet".
Chandler: Well, that's like mo-ney in your pocket! - Alright look, you want me to say it? This sucks. Being here sucks! This work sucks!
Wendy:Now it feels like Christmas.
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Ken: You can co-me to my house!
Chandler: Haha, no thanks!
Wendy: That was a nice pep-talk.
Chandler: Oh, thanks! I'm... actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.
Wendy: So, if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
Chandler: Typical Christmas-y stuff, you know? Our holi-d-ays are pretty traditional...
[SCENE:Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holi-d-ay song.]
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holi-d-ay song that I wrote for some very important people to me.
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap.
Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap.
Said all you need is to write them a song.
Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along.
No, don't sing along.
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah.
Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross.
And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy!
And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Happy holi-d-ays, everybody!
[SCENE:Monica and Chandler's apartment.]
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Chandler: What? That's terrible!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Chandler: Oh well, that, that makes it not terrible.
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.
Rachel: Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?
Chandler: No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Phoebe: Oh no, we have to!
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Chandler: Why?
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Phoebe: Oh, that's it? A great idea! Oh yeah.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find 'em faster!
Rachel: That's right!
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
Rachel: Oh, it's a Macy's bag!
Rachel: Oh.
Phoebe: Ooh, who's it for?
Rachel: "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
[SCENE:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents.]
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Chandler: OK, Pheebs, your turn.
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Joey: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: You guuuyys.
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Ross: You got me a cola drink?
Chandler: And, a lemon lime.
Ross: Well this, this is too mu-ch, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Chandler: And la-st but not least.
Joey: They're ribbed for your pleasure.
[SCENE:Monica, Chandler and Phoebe's, Ross is costumed as an Armadillo.]
Ross: Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holid-ay Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Ben: Cool!
Ross: Yeah!
Monica: Co-me on Ben.
Ross: Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees...
Chandler: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Ben: Santa!
Chandler: Hey!
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird...turtle-man?
Ross: I'm the Holid-ay Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Chandler: What?
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you co-me open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trou-ble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Chandler: Why?
Ross: Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-you're wrecking it.
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Monica: Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? Chandler: Santa? Really?
Monica: Yeah, is that okay?
Chandler: Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?
Monica: No.
Chandler: Then it's okaaay!
[SCENE:Back in the conference room in Tulsa.]
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Chandler: Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.
Chandler: Good, God's speed, good people! You're not gonna go?
Wendy: Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.
Chandler: Ah. Thanks.
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some pissed off ins-urance people looking for that ham.
Chandler: Ah. Chandler Bing.
[Scene:change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Others: Merry Christmas!
Phoebe: Ble-blah-blar Blargh!
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Monica: So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Chandler: Ah, well no, it's just uh, me and Wendy.
Monica: Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Chandler: I sent them home.
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Chandler: Uhh, uh...
Ross: Answer faster, answer faster!
Chandler: I don't know!
Ross: Answer bet-ter, answer bet-ter!
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: What does she do there?
Chandler: Oh, she's regional Vice President; She's... just below me.
Monica: She did WHAT?
Chandler: BE-LOW me!
Joey: Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
Monica:What???
Chandler: Well, she... she didn't win...
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Rachel: Oh Chandler, stop talking!
Chandler: Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.
Monica: Okay.
Chandler: I'm serious!
Monica: Okay!
Chandler: Merry Christmas.
Monica: Merry Christmas.
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Others: Yeah, Merry... Christmas.
Phoebe: Blah blargah, blar-blab.
(To be continued)