介绍： Season 9-9:The One With Rachel's Phone Number (Part 1)
[SCENE:Chandler's office in Tulsa. His assistant is showing him photographs.]
Jo Lynn: This kitty is Mittens and this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.
Chandler: Yep. That's a lot of cats Jo Lynn. Single are ya?
Chandler:...

介绍： Season 9-9:The One With Rachel's Phone Number (Part 1)
[SCENE:Chandler's office in Tulsa. His assistant is showing him photographs.]
Jo Lynn: This kitty is Mittens and this one is Fitzhugh, and this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.
Chandler: Yep. That's a lot of cats Jo Lynn. Single are ya?
Chandler: Chandler Bing.
Joey: Hey. How come you're answering your own phone? Where's your crazy assistant?
Chandler: What's up Joe?
Joey: Okay, what have we always wanted to do together?
Chandler: Braid each other's hair and ride horseback on the beach?
Joey: No, no, no. When you get home tomorrow night, you and I are going to be at the Wizzards-Knicks game.. . courtside!
Chandler: Courtside? Oh my God.
Joey: Yeah. Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ba-ll and break my jaw with his knee.
Chandler: That's so cool. I'll let Monica know.
Monica: Hello?
Chandler: Joey just called. He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.
Monica: Really? But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant. If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Chandler: But hey, it's courtside. The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr... That's not the way to convince you.
Monica: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game. You have to spend time with me. " So, if you could just realize it on your own.. .
Chandler: I know. You're right. I want to see you too. I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know? He's really looking forward to this.
Monica: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time. Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult. Tell him that what little time we have togegher is precious.
Chandler: Yeah, ah, ah.. . I'll think of something.
[SCENE:Ross and Rachel's apartment. Ross is in the living room covering Emma. Rachel enters wearing a sexy dress.]
Ross: Wow! Wow, you look.. . uh.. . It's just, ah.. . That dress.. . uh.. .
Rachel: Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.
Ross: Well, well, they're good. It's been a while since I've seen you like this. You, you clean up good.
Rachel: Oh well, well thank you. Okay, stop. Stop looking at me like that. The last time that happened, that happened. Ross: Oh right, right.So, are you.. . ah.. . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah. Phoebe and I are going to have so mu-ch fun. And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
Ross: Oh, it's fine. Actually, I, I invited Mike over.
Rachel: Phoebe's Mike?
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: I didn't know you guys hung out.
Ross: We don't. But I thought it would be nice to get to know him. You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
Rachel: Oh that's so cute: Ross and Mike's first date. Is that going to be awkward? I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
Ross: I don't know. But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know. He plays piano; I played keyboards in college. He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.
Rachel: Yeah.
Phoebe: Hi
Rachel: Hey.
Phoebe: Oooh. Girl's night out indeed.
Rachel: Ok. So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross.. .
Ross: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right? You go have fun.
Rachel: Okay. You too. And I hope you score. Bye.
Mike: Bye.
Ross: So.. . Welcome.
Mike: I got beer.
Ross: I got bottled breast milk.
Mike: Eh, why don't we start with the beer?
Ross: Okay. So, um, Phoebe tells me you, ah, you play piano.
Mike: Yeah.
Ross: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
Mike: Ah? Do you have one here?
Ross: No.
Mike: Okay.
Ross: Um.. . ah.. . you know, I'm divorced. Um, Phoebe, ah.. . Phoebe said you.. . You've been divorced?
Mike: Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't.. . I don't really like to talk about it.
Ross: That's okay. We'll talk about something else.
Mike: So, you're a paleontologist, right?
Ross: Yeah.
Mike: My cousin's a paleontologist.
Ross: Ah? Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
[SCENE:Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is wearing a sexy negligee. She pours two glasses of wine as Chandler enters with a carry-on suitcase. He sets the case by the door.]
Monica: Hi.
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Welcome home.
Chandler: Oh well, look at you.
Monica: Yeah. What do you think?
Chandler: Well, it looks great. It's just that.. . well, I'm wearing the sa-me thing underneath. So.. .
Monica: Oh.
Chandler: See what I mean.. .
Joey: Hey! How come the door's locked?
Monica: Just a second.
Chandler: No, no, no, no, no. Joey can't know that I'm here.
Monica: Why not?
Chandler: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game. So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
Monica: So, you lied to him?
Chandler: Achhh. It's always bet-ter to lie than to have the complicated discussion. Except with you.
Joey: Hey! Open the door. What's going on?
Joey: What are you.. . Why are you dressed like that?
Monica: Oh, because, um.. . well, Chandler's going to be home in a couple of d-ays. So, I thought I would, you know, practice the art of seduction.
Joey: Oh, I thought I heard a man's voice before.
Monica: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation. You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?" "Really sexy. Could I BE any more turned on?"
Joey: Okay. Whoa, whoa. Why are there two glasses of wine out?
Monica: Because.. . one of them is for you.
Monica: Cheers. Okay, buh-bye.
Chandler: You know, it's funny. I've been, ah, practicing the art of seduction m-yself. Hi ya.
Monica: You might want to keep practicing.
Chandler: Yah.
Chandler: It's Joey. Hey Joe.
Joey: Dude, come home!
Chandler: What? Why?
Joey: COME.. . HOME.
Chandler: Look I, I can't. What's going on?
Joey: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh.. . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya. I told you shouldn't have married someone so mu-ch hotter than you.
Joey: All right look. If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
Chandler: NO!
Joey: I just heard him!
Chandler: Can you.. . hear him.. . now?
Joey: No. All right, I'm going in.
Chandler: No! Wait!
Joey: I heard him again!
Chandler: All right, look. Just stay there. I'm coming home.
Joey: Okay. Great. I'll see you when you get here. I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
Chandler: Is that really necessary?
Joey: Absolutely. You'd do it for me. Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
[SCENE:Ross and Rachel's apartment. Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle. Ross stares off to the side. ]
Ross: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now? I mean, they said thirty minutes or less. Well, how long has it been?
Mike: Eleven minutes.And now twelve. So, do you like the beer?
Ross: I do. I do. Although, it's actually a lager.
Mike: huh. What's the difference between beer and lager?
Ross: I don't know. We could look it up.
Mike: Things are about to get wild.
[SCENE:A bar. Rachel and Phoebe are bringing their drinks from the bar to a sofa.]
Phoebe: Oh God. Remember the girls' nights we used to have sitting around talking about you and Ross?
Rachel: Oh God. It seems like forever ago.
Phoebe: I know. So, what's going on with you and Ross?
Rachel: Well, um.. . I don't know. I mean, for a long time nothing. But you know, actually right before you picked me up, Ross and I had a.. . ah.. . little thing.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I love things. What happened?
Rachel: Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked. And, ah, then we had a little.. . um.. . e-ye-contact.
Phoebe: Eye-contact?
Rachel: Mm-hmm.
Phoebe: I hope you were using protection.
Waiter: Excuse me. Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Rachel: Oh. Should we send them something back?
Phoebe: Oooh. Let's do. Let's send them mashed potatoes.
Rachel: No! Wait! No, no. Don't do that! That's going to make them think they can come over here.
Phoebe: So? What if they do?
Rachel: Well, we're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend, I have a b.. . baby and a Ross.
Phoebe: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen. We're just having fun. You know, not everything had to go as far as "e-ye-contact. "
[SCENE:Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is seated in the chair and Monica stands behind the sofa.]
Monica: Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.
Chandler: Don't you think it's bet-ter for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him? I heard it.
Monica: I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.
Chandler: All right. I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape.
Monica: Yes, because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape. "
Chandler: Hear me out woman. I'll go down the fire escape. Then, I'll wait for a while. Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa. Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
Monica: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out? I heard it.
Chandler: I'm just going to wait for a little while.
Monica: Scary pigeon's back?
Chandler: It's huge.
(To be continued)