介绍： Season 4-17:The One With The Free Porn (Part 1)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV, and we hear Mr. Treeger in the bathroom.]
Mr. Treeger: Ohhh, man!!
Joey: What is that?
Chandler: Treeger’s snaking the shower drain.
Mr. Treeger: What in the name of hell?
Joey: Mayb...

介绍： Season 4-17:The One With The Free Porn (Part 1)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV, and we hear Mr. Treeger in the bathroom.]
Mr. Treeger: Ohhh, man!!
Joey: What is that?
Chandler: Treeger’s snaking the shower drain.
Mr. Treeger: What in the name of hell?
Joey: Maybe he found you flip-flop.
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I must’ve hit something on the remote.
Chandler: Do we pay for this?
Joey: No, we didn’t even pay our cable bill—maybe this is how they punish us.
Chandler: Maybe we shouldn’t pay our phone bill—free phone sex.
Joey: Maybe we shouldn’t pay our gas bill?
Mr. Treeger: Whoa, hey, that lady’s all kinds of naked.
Chandler: Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on!
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Chandler: Like finding money with naked people on it!
Mr. Treeger: Then I made the mistake of turning off the TV, I never got it back again. And I’m sad.
Joey: Why would he turn off the TV?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: All right, y’know what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat?
Joey and Chandler: Oh no-no-no-no!
Chandler: We don’t know what could make this go away.
Joey: Yeah, so no one touches the remote. And no one touches the TV!
Chandler: And no one touches the air around the TV!
Joey: Imagine a protective porn bubble if you will, okay?
Monica: Well at least, I’m going to mute it.
Joey and Chandler: Oh no-no-no!
Chandler: We still have porn.
Joey: Hey.
Phoebe: Hi!
Monica: Hi!
Rachel: Honey, what are you doing? That’s too heavy.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Rachel: Give it here. Oh, God.
Monica: Okay.
Phoebe: Ohh, I’m getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Y’know, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table.
Chandler: Or a job where you don’t have to carry a table.
Phoebe: You mean like a doctor?
Joey: Pheebs! You’re blocking the porn! Look out!
Phoebe: Ohh! Oh my. Oh, that reminds me, I have to see my OB-GYN today.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Hi.
Monica: Hi.
Ross: So uh, Emily just went to the airport.
Monica: Oh. Why didn’t you take her?
Ross: Eh, her-her uncle already had planned on doing it. And y’know, we-we said our good-byes this morning, so…
Monica: You must feel horrible. Hey! The guys have free porn!
Ross: Nah.
Monica: Hey, cheer up! You’re gonna see her again, right?
Ross: Well I, that’s the thing, I don’t know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Let’s just enjoy…"
Monica: No-no-no, don’t-don’t do the accent. You’ve got to see her again.
Ross: And why do you care so much?
Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy!
Ross: You had fantasies about Emily?
Monica: No! Y’know, the fantasy! Meet someone from a strange land, fall in madly love, and spend the rest of your lives together.
Ross: Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid?
Monica: Yeah that, plus his mom used to put sour cream on everything!
Ross: Ahh.
Monica: Do you love her?
Ross: We said it was only going to be two weeks, y’know?
Monica: You love her!
Ross: What-what is love really?
Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. You’re probably just gonna catch her just as she’s about to go to the gate. You’re gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And she’s gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud.
Ross: I am a good kisser.
Monica: Then you two can, can sneak into the cockpit, and things will start to heat up, and then a stewardess comes in…I’ve been watching too much porn.
[Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the baby’s heartbeat.]
Rachel: Is that the heartbeat?
The Doctor: That’s it.
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Rachel: Oh wow! This is so cool.
The Doctor: Have we talked about the possibility of multiple births?
Phoebe: Why don’t take care of this one, and should I get pregnant again, I’ll hold onto your card, okay?
The Doctor: No, I’m getting three separate heartbeats.
Phoebe: Three? You guys were worried I wouldn’t even have one!
The Doctor: Doctors are wrong all the time.
Phoebe: Well, yeah.
Rachel: Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?!
The Doctor: Definitely.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months I’m going to have three full grown babies just walkin’ around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And it’s gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out!
The Doctor: Actually, giving birth to three babies isn’t that different from giving birth to one.
Phoebe: What do you know?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Alice: Oh-oh, Phoebe!
Phoebe: Ooh! Hi!
Alice: Hi! So, how did it go at the doctors?
Phoebe: Oh well, okay, hey, y’know how when you’re umm, you’re walking down the street and you see three people in a row, and you say, "Oh, that’s nice?"
Frank: Yes.
Phoebe: Okay, yeah well, good news, you’re going to have three babies.
Alice: Three babies?
Frank: I finally got my band!
Alice: We’re gonna have a big family, I’ve always wanted a big family!
Phoebe: Oh God, I’m so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked.
Frank: Why would we be freaked?
Phoebe: No, no maybe ‘cause it’s harder to raise them, and the added expense, and…
Frank: Oh.
Alice: Right.
Phoebe: No, back to happy. Back to happy!
Alice: No-no-no, no, it’s going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Y’know it’ll-it’ll be like my very own little sweatshop.
Frank: Yeah, I’ve been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Alice: No, Frank.
Phoebe: No you can’t quit college! No! You’re in college? Really?
Frank: Yeah, refrigerator college.
Alice: Yeah.
Frank: Yeah, y’know when we found out we were going to have a baby, y’know I figured y’know like I should y’know have like a career—and I love refrigerators!
Phoebe: You can’t give up on your dream.
Frank: No, it’s okay. We’re-we’re gonna have three kids! And that’s-that’s a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
[Scene: The airport, Emily is getting ready to board her flight to London.]
Ticket Agent: This is the boarding call for Flight 009.
Ross: Emily!
Emily: Oh my God! What are you doing here?
Ross: I just, I had to see you one more time before you took-off.
Emily: You are so sweet.
Ross: That’s, that’s, that’s a big candy bar. I had the most amazing time with you.
Emily: Me too.
Ticket Agent: This is the final boarding call for Flight 009.
Emily: Well, that’ me. Here, have this. I’m only allowed one piece of carryon anyway.
Ross: Wait uh, listen. I-I, I have to tell you something. Umm, I’ve been thinking, I’m just gonna come out and say it. Okay? I-I-I ah, I-I think I love you.
Emily: Oh. Thank you.
Ross: That’s no problem.
(To be continued)