介绍： Season 3-18:The One With The Hypnosis Tape (Part 1)
[Scene: Central Perk, all but Chandler are there, Joey laughs for no apparent reason.]
Monica: What's so funny?
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. It's an acting exercise, I'm practising my fake laugh.
Monica: Oh.
Joey: What-what's so funny?
Gunther: Oh, no-no, no-no-n...

介绍： Season 3-18:The One With The Hypnosis Tape (Part 1)
[Scene: Central Perk, all but Chandler are there, Joey laughs for no apparent reason.]
Monica: What's so funny?
Joey: Oh, nothing, no. It's an acting exercise, I'm practising my fake laugh.
Monica: Oh.
Joey: What-what's so funny?
Gunther: Oh, no-no, no-no-no, there's none of that in here.
Chandler: Oh come on man! At least let me finish this last one.
Gunther: Okay, but only if you give me a drag.
Chandler: Okay.
Gunther: Oh dark mother, once again I suckle at your smokey tit.
Chandler: No-no, why don't you hang on to that one.
Chandler: Okay, that's like the least fun game ever.
Rachel: Well, I'm really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit.
Chandler: Oh. Nope, that patch is no good.
Rachel: Come on, it's a hypnosis tape. This woman at work used it for two weeks straight and she hasn't smoked since.
Ross: Pffhah.
Rachel: What's your problem?
Ross: Nothing, it's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Rachel: Ross, I watched you get hypnotised in Atlantic City.
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotise me! Okay.
Rachel: Oh right, 'cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play Wipe-out on your butt cheeks.
Phoebe: All right, y'know forget hypnosis. The way to quit smoking is you have to dance naked in a field of heather, and then bath in the sweat of six healthy young men.
Chandler: Or what my Father called Thursday night.
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier, Ross is handing Rachel a cup of coffee.]
Ross: Here you go.
Rachel: Oh, y'know what, I didn't want cinnamon on this.
Ross: Sorry.
Frank: Hi!
Phoebe: Oh my God!!
Frank: Hi!
Phoebe: Frank! Hi!
Frank: How are you?
Phoebe: What are you doing here?
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I would've called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldn't find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: What happened?
Frank: Ah, oh, the ah, vandalism.
Phoebe: But, also, what happened between you and your Mom?
Frank: Well, we got into a fight 'cause ah, she said I was to immature to get married.
Phoebe: You're getting married?!
Frank: Oh, yeah!
All: Wow!
Phoebe: My little brother's getting married!!
Frank: Oh, I knew you'd be so cool about this. All right, ah, hey, do you want to meet her?
Phoebe: Do I?
Frank: Do you?
Phoebe: Yeah, I do, yeah.
Frank: Okay, cool, all right, she just ah, parking the truck. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get my ah, my fiancée man!
Chandler: Y'know, I would've bet good mo-ney that he'd be the first one of us to get married.
Phoebe: Yeah, isn't it fantastic?
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs don't you think he's a little young to get married?
Phoebe: What, he's 18.
Ross: Exactly, it'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Joey: Yeah, or-or to get a hooker.
Chandler: Always illegal Joe.
Frank: Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fiancee, Mrs. Knight.
Alice: Y'know it-it's funny, um, Frank told me so much about you, but your not how I pictured you at all.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm a big surprise.
Monica: So, um, how-how did you guys meet?
Frank: Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knight's ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class.
Alice: And he was my best student.
Frank: Yeah, she was my best teacher.
Alice: Ohhh.
Chandler: If that doesn't keep kids in school, what will?
Ross: And so now you guys are gonna be married?
Alice: Yeah. Y'know we-we talked about just living together, but um, we want to have kids right away.
Rachel: Oh my God!! Great!
Phoebe: Wow, kids. Frank, are you sure you're ready for that?
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesn't want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, 'cause y'know, it'll be me. Right?
Alice: Y'know, I mean, really we do realise that there's an age difference between us.
Phoebe: Oh good! Okay. 'Cause you were acting like you didn't.
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler is listening to the hypnosis tape.]
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You don't need to smoke. Cigarettes don't control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year I've only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
Rachel: Well, that shouldn't be a problem. I mean I work in fashion and all I meet are eligible straight men.
Monica: Pete, can I get you something else?
Pete: Yeah, a slice of cheesecake and-and a date if you're given' 'em out.
Monica: Haven't you and I covered that topic?
Pete: Hmm, come on, you just said to her that you....
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Pete: Well, if that were true, I'd dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. Come on, you think she should go out with me, don't you?
Rachel: Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that ain't a pretty picture in the morning, y'know what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Monica: I mean really, think about it.
Pete: Ho-ho, I will.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Frank's life,y'know. Y'know, I don't want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, it's sick and wrong!
Ross: Pheebs, what, is it the age thing?
Phoebe: No-no, oh, I'm fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking it's tongue down my little brother's throat!
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think he's gonna enjoy it when he's up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, and it-it's not fair to the babies, and y'know what, it's not good home economics.
Joey: Well, have-have you told him how you feel?
Phoebe: Yes. Not out loud.
Ross: Pheebs, if you don't tell him, soon he's gonna be married, and then you're gonna hate yourself.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then he's gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I can't. But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Ross and Joey: No-no-no-no-no.
Phoebe: Come on, you guys, you have nothing to lose, I have everything to lose. Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?!
Ross and Joey: No.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go get Frank.
Joey: So, we're walking down the street and I turn to you and I say, “Hey, let's go hang out at Totally Nude Nudes,” remember? And then, and then, you turn to me and say, “Nah, let's just hang out at your place.” Well, that was a nice move dumb ass.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are entering.]
Rachel: I think you should definitely go out with this guy.
Monica: Nah, he doesn't do anything for me.
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids.... All right, I get your point.
Rachel: All right.
Chandler: Hi.
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any ChapStick?
Monica: Uh, yeah.
Rachel: Hey, how are those tapes working out for ya?
Chandler: Y'know what, pretty good.
Rachel: Yeah?
Chandler: Good! I haven't smoked yet today, I feel great, and-and-and confident, that is a stunning blouse.
Rachel: Thank you.
Monica: Here you go.
Chandler: Thanks
Rachel: Hey Mon, let's give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.
Chandler: What check thing?
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so I'd call him.
Chandler: Pete Becker. Pete... Is this him?
Monica: That's Bill Clinton.
Chandler: Who's he huggin'?
Monica: Oh my God! That's Pete! But why is Bill huggin' Pete?
Chandler: This guy invented Moss 865! Every office in the world uses that program!
Rachel: We use it!!
Chandler: There you go!!
Rachel: Oh my God, Monica's gonna go out with a millionaire.
Monica: I'm not gonna go out with him.
Rachel: Oh my God, I can't believe this is a real $20,000 check, oh this is just so exciting.
Monica: Or incredibly offensive.
Rachel: Oh yeah, sure, that too.
Chandler: What?
(To be continued)