介绍： Season 3-7:The One With The Race Car Bed (Part 1)
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Ross: So I told Carl, 'No-body, no matter how famous their parents are, no-body is allo...

介绍： Season 3-7:The One With The Race Car Bed (Part 1)
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Ross: So I told Carl, 'No-body, no matter how famous their parents are, no-body is allowed to climb on the dinosaur.' But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Rachel:I love how he cares so much about stuff. If I squint I can pretend he's Alan Alda.
Monica:Oh good, another dinosaur story. When are those gonna become extinct?
Chandler:If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Gunther:What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.
Phoebe:Who's singing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, they're watching Happy Days.]
Ross: Hey. When you guys were kids and you played Happy Days, who were you? I was always Richie.
Monica: I was always Joanne.
Joey: Question. Was ah, 'Egg the Gellers!' the war cry of your neighbourhood?
Phoebe: Ewww! Oh! It's the Mattress King!
Joey: Booo!!
Chandler: Don't look honey. Change the channel! Change the channel!
Janice: Wait! Wait! I wanna see this. After I divorce him, half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
Matress King: 'Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. I'm so depressed I'm going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! I'm going medieval on prices!
Chandler: What a wank!
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe he's using our divorce to se-ll mattresses.
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. And I'm appalled for you by the way.
Matress King: I'm close. I'm cheap. I'm the king.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
Rachel: 'Okay. Okay, daddy we'll see you tomorrow night. Okay bye-bye.'
Ross: We?
Rachel: Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope that's okay.
Ross: Oh shoot, tomorrow's not so good, I'm supposed to um, fall off the Empire State building and land on a bicycle with no seat. Sorry.
Rachel: Ross, my father doesn't hate you.
Ross: Please, he refers to me as 'wethead'.
Rachel: But honey he calls everybody by a nickname! Okay, look, I know, all right, just one dinner, please, just one night for me, please. I just want him to love you like I do. All right, well not exactly like I do, but, but, if you do come to dinner, I'll love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
Chandler: I'll go.
Ross: Fine.
Rachel: Thank you.
Ross: Hi Gunther.
Gunther: Yeah, we'll see!
Joey: Hey, you guys!
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Guess what?
Ross: What?
Joey: I got a gig!
All: Yay!!
Chandler: See, that's why I could never be an actor. Because I can't say gig.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say croissant. Oh my God!
Monica: What's the part?
Joey: Well, it's not a part, no. I'm teaching acting for soap operas down at the Learning Extension.
Ross: Come on! That's great.
All: Wow!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. It's like my chance to give something back to the acting community.
Ross: Y'know your probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.
Joey: I know!
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica and Phoebe are shopping for a new mattress.]
Phoebe: Ugh! I don't know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you b-uy a bed from Janice's ex-husband, that's like betraying Chandler.
Monica: Not at these prices.
Phoebe: Hi. Y'know in England this car would be on the other side of the store. Woo!
Monica: Oh! Ohhhhh! Oh! Phoebe, come here. Aw, this is my new bed. You gotta feel this bad boy.
Phoebe: Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandler's your friend... Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends.
[Scene: Classroom. Joey is writing his name on the board, but turns around before he's done which causes him to write his name with a downward curve, and he then underlines it, and draws the line right through his name.]
Joey: Good evening. I'm Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you don't have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much mo-re attractive. All right, moving right along.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
Joey: Hi!
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh! How was teaching last night?
Joey: Oh it was great. Yeah, you get to say stuff like, 'Hey, the bell doesn't dismiss you, I dismiss you.'
Phoebe: Ooooh, nice.
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Phoebe: Oh, yay!
Joey: Yeah, it's this great part, this boxer named Nick. And I'm so, so right for it, y'know, he's just like me. Except he's a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Phoebe: Oh.
Guy: Dom da-da dom! Here ye! Here ye! Delivery from the Mattress King. You Miss Geller?
Phoebe: Okay.
Guy: Sign here.
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. It's that bedroom there.
Joey: Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?
Phoebe: Yeah, so please, please, please, don't say anything to Chandler.
Joey: You want me to lie to Chandler?
Phoebe: Is that a problem?
Joey: No.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer let's see what you got. All right ya, put 'em up. Come on.
Joey: Hey, you're ah, pretty good at this.
Phoebe: Yeah, well I had to learn, I was staying at the Y and some off the young men weren't acting Christian enough.
Joey: Ahh!
Joey: Hey now!
Joey: Hey!!! Oww!! And I'm bleeding.
Phoebe: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Joey: Okay, great.
Phoebe: Wow! And I'm a vegetarian! All right, all right, well I'm sorry, we'll put some ice on it.
Joey: Okay.
Phoebe: 'Kay, put your head back.
Joey: All right. I can't see.
Phoebe: All right, I have ya. Oh God.
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
Phoebe: Oh, it's the compulsively neat one by the window, okay.
Guy: Gotcha.
[Scene: Restaurant, Rachel and Ross and Dr. Green are having dinner.]
Rachel: Hi Daddy!
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Rachel: You remember Ross.
Dr. Green: Um-hmm.
Ross: Nice to see you again Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: So! How's the library?
Ross: Ugh, museum.
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Ross: There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.
Dr. Green: You know what's really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three.
Ross: Yeah, if you're really hungry. It was a joke, I made a joke.
Rachel: Yeah, actually Daddy Ross is allergic to lobster.
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
Ross: It's not a library...
Dr. Green: I know!! It's a museum! What, you're the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. [Scene: After dinner.]
Ross: So, Dr. Green, how's the old boat.
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Ross: It gives it a nice antiquey look.
Dr. Green: Rust, is boat cancer, Ross.
Ross: Wow. I'm sorry, when I was a kid I lost a bike to that. Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Rachel: Okay.
Ross: Okay!
Rachel: Aw honey stop! It's not that bad.
Ross: Yeah. Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad must've added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Rachel: Yeah. That's Daddy.
Ross: That's Daddy?! But doesn't it bother you? You're a waitress.
Rachel: Yes, it bothers me Ross, but y'know if he was a regular at the coffee house, I'd be serving him sneezers.
Ross: So?
Rachel: So. Ross, I've bugged him about this a million times, he's not gonna change.
Ross: You really serve people sneezers?
Rachel: Well um, I don't.
Dr Green: You kids ready?
Ross: Thanks again, Dr. Green.
Dr. Green: All right.
Dr. Green: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think I forgot my receipt.
Ross: Oh, ah, you don't need that.
Dr. Green: Why not?
Ross: The carbon, it's messy, I mean it gets on your fing-ers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Dr. Green: What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, it's a sickness really.
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. We really, really have to do something about that.
Ross: I know.
Dr. Green: Excuse me, you think I'm cheap?
Rachel: Oh Daddy, no he didn't mean anything by that, he really didn't.
Ross: Nothing I do means anything, really.
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, I'll tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right.
Ross: Well Mr. Big Shot is bet-ter than 'wethead'.
(To be continued)