介绍： Season 3-5:The One With Frank Jr. (Part 1)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Joey: No. Y'know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail.
Chandler: Yeah!
Joey: Well, I started...

介绍： Season 3-5:The One With Frank Jr. (Part 1)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, there is lumber all over the apartment]
Chandler: Hey!
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?
Joey: No. Y'know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail.
Chandler: Yeah!
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You're building a post office?
Joey: No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. It's a one day job, max.
Chandler: Okay. My word! Those are snug.
Joey: Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valente's.
Joey: Power saw kinda got away from me there.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.]
Rachel: Hey Pheebs.
Phoebe: Hey!
Rachel: Any sign of your brother?
Phoebe: No, but he's always late.
Rachel: I thought you only met him once?
Phoebe: Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, 'Frank's always late.'
Rachel: Well relax, he'll be here.
Phoebe: No, I know, I'm just nervous. Y'know it's just y'know Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister, Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately. It's like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. You're so sweet to wait with me.
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here, it's a thing.
[Scene: inside Central Perk]
Chandler: Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?
Monica: No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox.
Chandler: All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.
Joey: Her what?
Chandler: Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one can't get mad.
Ross: Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
Monica: So, Chandler, who's on your list?
Chandler: Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit.
Rachel: Now, you do realize that she's a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her e-yes to pop out of her head.
Joey: Hey, Monica, who would yours be?
Monica: First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.
Joey: It's just a game Mon. Rach, how about you?
Rachel: Oh, I don't know, I guess, Chris O'Donnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.
Ross: Spiderman?
Rachel: Hardy Boy.
Chandler: Peter Parker.
Ross: Thank you.
Rachel: What about you honey, who would be on your list?
Ross: Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, I'll divide my perspective candidates into catergories....
Chandler: What a geek!
Phoebe: Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
All: Oh, hi.
Phoebe: This is everybody. This is Ross.
Frank: How are you?
Ross: Hey.
Phoebe: Chandler.
Chandler: Hi.
Frank: Hi.
Phoebe: Joey.
Joey: Hey-hey!
Frank: Hey.
Phoebe: This is Monica.
Frank: Whoa!
Phoebe: And this is Rachel.
Rachel: Hi!
Frank: Whoa!!
Phoebe: I'm gonna get coffee.
Frank: Hey, how do you guys get anything done?
Chandler: We don't, really.
Rachel: Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans?
Phoebe: Oh yeah! Yeah, no, we're gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything.
Frank: Yeah, I was thinking that maybe we could go down to Time Square and pick up some ninja stars. And, oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
Chandler: You know, we don't really take advantage of living in the city.
Joey: I know.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is drilling a hole in the wall and the drill comes out the other side really close to Chandler's head. Chandler then rushes out to talk to Joey.]
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get 'ya?
Chandler: No, you didn't get me!! It's an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Joey: Calm down, do you want this unit or not?
Chandler: I do NOT want this unit!!
Joey: Well, you should've told me that before, I'm not a mind reader. Hey, we're out of beer. I'm going to Monica's.
Chandler: Fine!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Monica: Hey! Where 'ya headin' in those pants? 1982?
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
Monica: Why, what's wrong with my bathroom floor?
Joey: Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's all.
Monica: I highly doubt that.
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. Yeah.
Monica: I can't live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
Joey: Relax. Here hold this. This old stuff just comes right off. Monica: That's a little mo-re than I wanted to see.
Joey: Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. It'd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it.
Monica: I can't leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
Joey: Eh! There you go.
Monica: You know that's nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!
[Scene: Phoebe's, Frank and her, are sitting on the couch, watching TV]
Phoebe: Oh, ew!
Frank: What?
Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldn't, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.
Frank: What, wait, you mean like this?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. You can do it to.
Frank: Your not doing it.
Phoebe: Oh right, yeah okay, my Mom could, and I can't. We don't have that....
Frank: When's your birthday?
Phoebe: Feburary 16th.
Frank: I know a guy who's the 18th.
Phoebe: Wow, that's close. When's yours?
Frank: October 25th.
Phoebe: That's the sa-me month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?
Frank: Melt stuff.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is working on his list]
Ross: Okay, I've got three of my five.
Rachel: Three of your five, what?
Ross: Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with.
Rachel: Oh my God! You are giving this a lot of thought.
Ross: Yeah, it's hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
Ross: Okay, Elizabeth Hurely....
Chandler: Oooh-hoo, very attractive, forgiving.
Ross: Susan Sarandon.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, she's to political, she probably wouldn't let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
Ross: And!! Isabella Rosselini.
Chandler: Ooh-hoo. Very hot, very sexy. But ah, y'know she's too international, y'know she's never gonna be around.
Rachel: So?
Chandler: So, you gotta play the odds, pick somebody who's gonna be in the country like all the time.
Rachel: Yeah, 'cause that's why you won't get Isabella Rosselini, geography.
[Scene: Phoebe's, Frank is melting a plastic spoon.]
Phoebe: Okay so, by melting, you meant melting.
Frank: Yeah.
Phoebe: So is it like art?
Frank: Yeah, you can melt art. Hey, can I use your phone?
Phoebe: Um, yeah sure. Why you wanna call your Mom?
Frank: No, I wanna melt it.
Phoebe: Oh, well um, not right now. Y'know I'm just gonna go to bed, I think the fumes are giving me a headache.
Frank: Yeah!
Phoebe: G'night, bro.
Frank: G'night.
Phoebe: Here. Y'know, just in case.
Frank: Oh, excellent.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is eating breakfast with Monica while Frank is playing with num-chucks on the balcony]
Monica: What kind of karate is that?
Phoebe: No kind. He just makes it up.
Monica: So how's it going with you guys?
Phoebe: So far, it kinda blows. I don't know, I just thought y'know that he'd feel mo-re like a brother y'know, like you and Ross, just like close and connected and....
Monica: Oh honey, we're close now but you-you wouldn't believe the years of-of nugaes, and wedgies, and flying wedgies, and atomic wedgies, and....That's where the waistband actually goes over your head.
Phoebe: Ah!!
Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.
Phoebe: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Monica: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Phoebe: I just asked you.
Monica: I just asked you.
Phoebe: I don't have time for this.
Monica: No, that is what the game is.
Phoebe: Which you just gave up really quickly.
Chandler: Have you seen Joey?
Monica: What's the matter?
Chandler: Oh, just this! Y'know what it's my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Joey: Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles.
Chandler: What's going on?
Monica: He's retiling my floor.
Chandler: Yo!! Spackle boy! Get up!
Monica: Ah-ah-ah, now you started this, you will finish it.
Chandler: He started mine first!
Phoebe: Build the unit Cinderella, lay the tile Cinderelly.
(To be continued)