介绍： Season 2-22:The One With The Two Parties (Part 1)
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I ...

介绍： Season 2-22:The One With The Two Parties (Part 1)
[Scene: Moondance Diner. Ross, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are sitting at the counter, Monica is working. Monica is wearing her costume, including big fake breasts.]
MONICA: So, I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth, and since it's Rachel's birthday, I mean, we want it to be special, I thought I'd poach a salmon.
ALL: Ohhh.
MONICA: What?
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
MONICA: You wanna be in charge of the food committee?
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
JOEY: Really. Why can't we just get some pizzas and get some beers and have fun?
ROSS: Yeah.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I agree. Ya know, I think fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside and I'm just not sure we are.
MONICA: Alright. If you guys don't want it to be special, fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See honk honk.
CHANDLER: Wow, it's, it's like por-no for clowns.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are planning Rache's birthday party.]
ROSS: I talked to Rachel's sisters, neither of them can come.
MONICA: Ok, um so, I still have to invite Dillon and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
JOEY: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.
PHOEBE: Why not her?
JOEY: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
CHANDLER: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
MONICA: Joey that is horriable.
JOEY: Hey I liked her, alright. Maybe, maybe too much. I don't know I guess I just got scared.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd b-uy that, ok.
ROSS: Hi honey, how did it go?
RACHEL: Agh, it was the grad-uation from hell.
CHANDLER: Ya know, my cousin went to hell on a footba-ll scholarship.
RACHEL: Ya know, I mean this is supposed to be a joyous occasion. My sister's grad-uating from college, nobody thought she would. It's a true testament to what a girl from long island would do for a Celica.
MONICA: So what happened?
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
MONICA: Well, how bout just her mom?
CHANDLER: Why her mom?
MONICA: Cause I already invited her.
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?
JOEY: Oh no, can't invite her. She also steals.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
PHOEBE: Ok, here are the birthday candles. Where's the birthday cake?
MONICA: Ok, we're not having birthday cake, we're having birthday flan.
CHANDLER: Excuse me?
MONICA: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.
JOEY: Oh that's nice. Happy birthday Rachel, here's some goo.
MONICA: Dr. Greene. Oh my God it's Rachel's dad. What're you doing here?
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
MR. GREENE: Ohhh, you're having a parteee.
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
MR. GREENE: I'll never remember all of that. So uh, what's the deal? Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff, is that it?
CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?
MRS. GREENE: Hi Monica.
MONICA: Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.
CHANDLER: So, basically just a Chinese guy.
JOEY: Uh, hey, Dr. Greene, why don't you come with me, we'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.
MR. GREENE: Alright, that sounds like a two person job. MRS. GREENE: Well, my goodness, what was that?
MONICA: Sandra, I am so sorry, I thought you were Rachel and we just weren't ready for you yet.
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
CHANDLER: Yes because uh, you look so young.
PHOEBE: And because you're both, you know, white women.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
CHANDLER: NO! No, I'll take that for ya.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the ba-lloons...The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...
PHOEBE: Ha-ha, that's great, ha-ha. I can't wait to hear the rest of it, ya know, but I really have to go to the bathroom so... Hey, come with me. Yeah, yeah, it'll be like we're gal pals, ya know, like at a restraunt. Oh, it'll be fun, c'mon. MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
CHANDLER: Ok, think, what would Jack and Chrissy do?
JOEY: Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
MONICA: So uh, Joey and Chanlder, I, I think it's time that you take Dr. Greene over to your place.
CHANDLER: Uhh, yes, absdolutely, um. Why again?
MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.
JOEY: Right this is staging.
CHANDLER: Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area.
JOEY: This is clearly in the wrong apartment.
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
CHANDLER: Alright you guys are off to party number one and you, you are off to party number two. Alright fellas, let's keep it movin', let' keep it movin.
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? Alright that's Ross.
CHANDLER: Ok, they're coming, shhh.
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for the wonderful dinner.
ROSS: Thanks for being born.
RACHEL: Ohh, thank you for my beautiul earrings, they're perfect. I love you.
ROSS: Oh, now you can exchange them if you want, ok.
RACHEL: Now I love you even more.
ALL: Surprise.
RACHEL: Oh my gosh, wow. Monica. Oh my god. Mom. This is so great.
MRS. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetie.
RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.
ROSS: Really?
RACHEL: No, I knew.
ROSS: All right.
MONICA: Ok, everybody, there's food and drinks on the table. Go across the hall.
ROSS: What?
RACHEL: What?
MONICA: Right now, Joey and Chandler's, go now.
RACHEL: Why.
MONICA: Just go.
ALL: Surprise.
MR. GREENE: Happy birthday sweetpea.
RACHEL: Daddy.
RACHEL: Both of them are here, both of them, both of them are here?
CHANDLER: Well, we could count again.
RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.
ROSS: You know what, this is ridiculous, ok. This is your birthday, this is your party. I say we just put 'em all together and if they can't deal with it, who cares.
RACHEL: I do.
ROSS: That's who.
CHANDLER: Look, are you gonna be ok?
RACHEL: Well, I have to be, I don't really have a choice, I mean, you know, I could look at the bright side, I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.
CHANDLER: Well, actually just one birthday flan.
RACHEL: What?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
JOEY: Quick volleyba-ll question.
CHANDLER: Volleyba-ll.
JOEY: Yeah, we set up a court in your room. Uh, you didn't really like that grey lamp, did you?
CHANDLER: Joey, a woman just stuck her tounge down my throat, I'm not even listening to you.
GIRL'S VOICE: Dennis.
CHANDLER: Ok, that's me.
RACHEL: Listen honey, can you keep dad occupied, I'm gonna go talk to mom for a while.
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
RACHEL: Uhh, let's just stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing you daughter' and you should be ok.
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
ROSS: Hi Dr. Greene. So, uh, how's everything in the uh, vascular surgery....game?
MR. GREENE: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
ROSS: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
(To be continued)