介绍： Dear Amy:

My boyfriend's parents are nice people, but I don't know them very well. His mother made a comment to me that I can't shake. We were out to lunch one day and she made a joke that I would "make a great first wife. " She said this in front of her husband, as well as my boyfriend.

I know she meant i...

介绍： Dear Amy:

My boyfriend's parents are nice people, but I don't know them very well. His mother made a comment to me that I can't shake. We were out to lunch one day and she made a joke that I would "make a great first wife. " She said this in front of her husband, as well as my boyfriend.

I know she meant it as a joke but every time I am around her I worry that she thinks I am not good enough for her son. This makes me uncomfortable around her, and honestly I don’t really like her because of it.

To me, jokes come from real feelings, but are masked in a way to avoid confrontation.

How do I address this with her without it being awkward or confrontational?

My boyfriend does not remember her saying it, but he has my back. If we move toward marriage, we will have to address it.

—Trying to Move Forward

Dear Trying:

You want to address this statement, but you don't want to risk any awkwardness yourself, and in that way, you are trying to take the easy way out.

But there is no easy way out.

You don't seem able to accept this as a very failed (and unfunny) "joke", and move on—and so you will have to confront this, respectfully.

The best way to address an awkward situation is to acknowledge how awkward it is.

You should say to her, privately, "Can I ask you something? This is awkward and a little embarrassing, but you said something to me one day that I keep thinking about…"

The best-case scenario would be for her to admit having said this, tell you she regrets it, reassure you that she meant no harm and apologize for having said it.

However, she may have forgotten making this remark—or she may simply deny it.

Prepare yourself: After you say your piece, you should make your peace. Look for positive things about her; after all, she might one day be your (first and last) mother-in-law.

—Amy