介绍： Season 9-15:The One With The Mugging (Part 1)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, Monica and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters]
Chandler: Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what...
Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?!
Monica: Really? Let's get past the moment.
Phoebe: What's your news?
Chandler: Thank you...

介绍： Season 9-15:The One With The Mugging (Part 1)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, Monica and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters]
Chandler: Guys, guys, I've got great news! Guess what...
Joey: Uh, ah, Monica's pregnant?!
Monica: Really? Let's get past the moment.
Phoebe: What's your news?
Chandler: Thank you. I got a job in advertising.
Monica: Oh, honey, that's incredible!
Phoebe: Gosh, what's the pay like?Oh, come on people... come on, now, if I don't know who makes the most, how do I know who I like the most! Hey Joey!
Chandler: Actually, it pays nothing. It's an internship.
Joey: Oh, that's cool. We have interns at 'Days Of Our Lives'.
Chandler: Right. So, it'll be the sa-me except...less sex with you.
Ross: So, uh, what kinda stuff do you think they'll have you do there?
Chandler: Well, it's a training program, but at the end, they hire the people they like.
Phoebe: That's great.
Chandler: Yeah, I mean, there's probably gonna be some ground work which will probably stink, you know, grown man getting people coffee is a little humiliating
Chandler: Humiliating and noble!
Ross: You know, if I didn't already have a job, I think, I would have been really good in advertising.
Monica: Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?"
Ross: Yes, I did, I did! I should have written it down!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Aparment, Monica sits at the table]
Joey: Hey!
Monica: Hey!
Joey: Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first d-ay... and I smelled bacon.
Monica: He just left.
Joey: Who did?
Rachel: Joey! You never gonna believe it: she called.
Joey: She did?
Rachel: You got it!
Joey: I did?
Monica: What is she talking about?
Joey: I don't know, but it sounds great.
Rachel: Your agent called. You got that audition.
Joey: With Lennart Haze?
Rachel: Yes.
Joey: Oh my god, that is great! That is great for a play on broadway...and in a real theatre, not that little one underneath the dally like last time.
Monica: Is it a good play?
Joey: Well, it must be, because I read and I didn't understand a single word.
Rachel: Yeah, and Lennart Haze is starring in it...
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and directing.
Monica: He was so good in that movie of MacBeth.
Rachel: You saw that?
Monica: No, but...I saw the previews. They played it right before Jackass.
Rachel and Joey: Ah!
Joey: Yeah, he's done some amazing works.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Oh, I loved him in those cell phone commercials.
Joey: I know. When the monkey hits him in the face with that giant rubber phone.
Monica: Hey! Maybe the monkey will be at the audition!
Joey: Don't make me more nervous than I already am!
[Scene: Chandler's new workplace, his fellow interns are already seated around a table]
Chandler: Good morning, everybody.
Intern: Can I get you a cup of coffee, Sir?
Chandler: Oh, no, no, I'm an intern, just like you guys...except for the tie, the briefcase...and the fact that I can rent a car.
Intern: Seriously, you're an intern?
Chandler: Yeah, well, I'm kinda heading into a new career direction and, you know, you gotta start at the bottom.
Intern: Dude!
Chandler: Right. Look, I know I'm a little bit older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope.
Chandler: The comedian? USO?!
Intern: Uhm, it's USA, sir.
[Scene: Audition room, Joey is lead into the room by a receptionist in a fancy dress]
Receptionist: This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers and, as you probably already know, this is Lennart Haze.
Joey: It is so amazing to meet you. I'm such a big fan of your work.
Lennart: Well, I've...I've been blessed with a...a lot of great roles.
Joey: Tell me about it! "Unlimited nights and weekends!"
Lennart: You making fun of me? Because I am not a sell-out. I didn't do that for the mo-ney, I believe in those phones. I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service.
Joey: No, I-I-I wasn't making fun of you, honestly, I-I think you were great in those commercials.
Lennart: Really?
Joey: Yeah.
Lennart: Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role.
Joey: Are you kiddin'? When they shoot you out of that cannon...
Lennart: Peeeeeooooooooch "Hang up that phone!" One take!
Joey: Wow!
Lennart: So, shall we read?
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure.
Lennart: Top of act two. This is my entrance. You got it?
Lennart: "What the hell are you still doing here"?
Joey: Err, "I think you know".
Lennart: "Bastard"!
Joey: "I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now."
Lennart: "Go, go!"
Joey: "I can't. Oh, I want to, long pause, but I can't."
Lennart: I'm sorry, sorry. You're not supposed to say "long pause"
Joey: Oh, oh, I thought that was your character's name, you know, I thought you were like an Indian or something, you know with a...
Lennart: No. Thank you so mu-ch for coming in. We appreciate it, thank you.
Joey: Ah, y-y-you're sure you don't want me to do it again? I could do it with an accent, you know, Southern "I could go right now, maaan!"
Lennart: My god in heaven.
Producer #1: Joey, hang on for a second. Lennart, can we talk to you for a moment?
Lennart: You, you gotta be kidding. See, h-he, he can't act. Lennart: Hey! I-I-I don't care if he's hot, you know. If you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play. No, listen: if you insist on this, I will call my agent so fast on a cell phone that has a connection that is so clear he's gonna think I'm next door.
Joey: Ah, hi, ah. Thank you so mu-ch for whispering for my benefit, but, ah, look, if you just tell me what I did wrong, I'd just love to work on it and come back and try it again for you. And, and also: 'How you doing?' You should, please, just gimme another chance. I really wanna get bet-ter, please.
Lennart: Well, if you wanna come back at the end of the d-ay tod-ay, here are my notes. Ready?
Joey: Yeah.
Lennart: Uhm, you're in your head. You-you're thinking way too mu-ch.
Joey: I really doubt that.
Lennart: No, no, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body. There's no urgency. The Scene is a struggle, uhm, it's a race. Also, what you did was horizontal. Don't be afraid to explore the vertical. And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you.
Joey: Couldn't I just sleep with the producer?
[Scene: Backstreet, Ross and Phoebe walking]
Phoebe: Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight?
Ross: Oh, I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katy, yeah, I know we've been only gone out like twice, but I have a really good feel-ing about her.
Phoebe: Oh, I hear divorce bells.
Mugger: Alright. Just give me your wallets and there won't be a problem.
Ross: What?
Mugger: I have a gun.
Ross: O-ok. Just relax, Phoene, just stay calm. Oh my god, I can't find my wallet.
Mugger: Alright, lady, now give me your purse!
Phoebe: No.
Ross: What do you mean "no"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Lowell, is that you?
Lowell: Phoebe? Oh my god!
Phoebe: Oh my god!
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Ross, this is my old friend Lowell from the streets. Lowell, Ross.
Lowell: Ross, nice to meet you.
Ross: Yeah, a real pleasure.
Phoebe: Ah, it's been so long, so long.I can't believe you're still doing this!
Lowell: Oh, I know, but I quit smoking!
Phoebe: Good for you!
Lowell: So you look like you're doing really well! I guess you're mugging d-ays are behind you?
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Ross: Oh my god. Phoebe, you used to mug people?
Phoebe: Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up...
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica sits on the couch as Joey enters]
Monica: Hey, how did the audition go?
Joey: Well, they wanna see me again this afternoon, but, err, well, Lennart Haze did not like me.
Monica: What happened?
Joey: Well, he said I wasn't urgent enough, you know, and that everything I did was horizontal and I should be more vertical. Oh, and he said that I should think less.
Monica: So far so good!
Chandler: Honey, I'm old!
Monica: What's wrong?
Chandler: I am so mu-ch older than these other interns. I can't compete with them.
Monica: So you're a little older. Try to look at the positive: You have all this life experience.
Chandler: Yes, but I don't think life experience is gonna help me with these.
Joey: Wooooooooow It's like they're on fire!
Monica: What are they?
Chandler: They're these prototy-pe sneakers and come up with ideas on how to se-llthem which I can't do because no self-respecting adult would ever where these.
Joey: I'll give you $500 for them!
Chandler: What am I supposed to do with these?
Monica: Ah, come on, sneakers are easy. You wear sneakers all the time.
Chandler: Well, first of all, they're not called "sneakers" anymore. Apparently, they're called "kicks" or "skids" and I think I heard somebody say "slorps". And here, look: they've got these wheels to pop out from the bottom so you can roll around 'cause, apparently, walking is too mu-ch exercise. Kids, kids, roll your way to childhood obesity! Would you help me try to se-llthese?
Monica: Okay, have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?
Chandler: No, I don't think that's the kinda thing they're looking for.
Joey: Hey, that'd work on me! Why did I get to b-uy Mrs. Butterwords?
(To be continued)