介绍： Season 3-7:The One With The Race Car Bed (Part 2)
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is lecturing on facial expressions.]
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor, so if I'm in a Scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pullin...

介绍： Season 3-7:The One With The Race Car Bed (Part 2)
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is lecturing on facial expressions.]
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor, so if I'm in a Scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, let's say I wanna convey that I've just done something evil. That would be the basic 'I have a fishhook in my e-yebrow and I like it'…Okay, let's say I've just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. And that's how it's done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Student: Hey, Mr. Trib.
Joey: Hey-hey.
Student: Guess what, I got an audition!
Joey: Awww, one of my students got an audition. I'm so proud.
Student: I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it?
Joey: You bet! What's the part?
Student: Oh it's great, it's a role on All My Children, Nick the boxer.
[Scene: Hallway, Ross and Rachel are returning from dinner.]
Rachel: You had to do it, didn't you? You couldn't just leave it alone.
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip mo-re than that when there's a bug in my food.
Rachel: Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along. Oh, would you just see my chiropractor, already.
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna go to a doctor who went to school in a mini-mall.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?
Phoebe: I'm, I'm freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldn't have! All right, I haven't lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?
Rachel: Um. yeah.
Phoebe: I am soo dead.
Rachel: All right, look, here's the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, I'll invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
Ross: Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesn't work.
Rachel: Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but that's why you have got to be the bigger man here.
Ross: Look sweetie, I could be the bigger man, I could be the biggest man, I could be a big, huge, giant man, and it still wouldn't make any difference, except that I could pick your Father up and say 'Like me! Like me tiny doctor!'
Rachel: Okay, well can't you just try it one mo-re time Ross? For me? For me?
Ross: Rachel one brunch is not gonna solve anything. You gotta face it, okay we're never gonna get along.
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the sa-me room together, okay, I don't wanna have to have a separate room for you too!!
Ross: Okay, okay, okay. I'll get the bagels.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to hide the bed from Monica.]
Monica: What's this?
Phoebe: Isn't it cool! Varoom! Varoom!
Monica: This is not the bed I ordered!
Phoebe: I know, you must've won like a contest or something!
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, okay, I-I wasn't looking, and the store says that they won't take it back because you signed for it...
Monica: When did I sign for it?
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, it's all Joey's fault, 'cause he left his nose open!
Monica: Did you make brownies today?
Chandler: Knock, knock.
Monica: Quick, take off your dress, he won't notice the bed.
Chandler: Hey, I'm going for sushi does anybody want.. Whoa-whoa, somebody missed the offramp.
Phoebe: It's Monica's bed. What?
Chandler: Okay. It's a racecar.
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monica's bed, what you're just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
Chandler: Okay, well if this bed isn't new, how come there is plastic on the mattress?
Monica: Sometimes I have bad dreams.
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is coaching his student.]
Student: Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, that's not gonna be me, not me.
Joey: Wow! That was good. That was... Tweezers?
Student: No.
Joey: Whoa. That was really good.
Student: Thanks, any suggestions?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there, yelling at Joey.]
Chandler: You told him to play the boxer gay!!
Joey: Well, I-I might've said supergay.
Chandler: You totally screwed him over.
Monica: Joey, you're this guy's teacher. I mean how could you do this?
Joey: Because, Monica, the guy's so good, and I really, really want this part.
Phoebe: Well, if you really, really want it, then it's okay.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is greeting her Father for their brunch.]
Rachel: Hi Daddy.
Dr. Green: Baby. Ross.
Ross: Dr. Green. How are you?
Dr. Green: Thanks for dinner last night.
Ross: Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.
Dr. Green: Nice hair. What'd ya do? Swim here?
Ross: Okay, that's it, I can't take it anymo-re.
Rachel: What? What? He's interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie it's hopeless, okay, I'm just gonna go.
Rachel: What?!
Ross: Look, look I'm sorry. It's just that....
Dr. Green: Ross? What's with the neck?
Rachel: He's got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Dr. Green: You're still going to that chiropractor, that man couldn't get into medical school in Extapa!
Ross: Thank you! That's what I keep saying.
Rachel: Excuse me, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
Ross: Uh.
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, his name is Dr. Bobby?
Rachel: Well that's his last name.
Ross: And his first name.
Dr. Green: He's Bobby Bobby?
Rachel: It's Robert Bobby.
Dr. Green: Oh.
Rachel: And um, excuse me, he helps me.
Ross: Oh-ho please. Ask her how?
Dr. Green: What do you need help for?
Rachel: With my alignment. I've got one leg shorter than the other.
Dr. Green: Oh God!
Ross: Argue with that.
Rachel: What? It's true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
Dr. Green: Come on! You're just tilting! Her legs are fine!
Ross: I know that!
Dr. Green: So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for?
Rachel: I'm sorry, let her?
Ross: What can I do, she doesn't listen to me about renter's ins-urance either.
Dr. Green: Wait a minute, you don't have renter's ins-urance?!
Rachel: No.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Ross: Hey, would you ah, would you like some juice?
Dr. Green: I'd love some juice. Thanks.
Ross: Okay. Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Rachel: Yeah honey, I'm standing right there! Why didn't you just tell him about the mole I haven't got checked yet.
Ross: Excellent!
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is talking to his students.]
Joey: There will come a time in each of your careers when you'll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And I'm ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, he's got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Thank you.
[Scene: Mattress King, Monica is trying to return her bed.]
Jester: Uh, may I help you?
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, I'm the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Jester: Look, it's like I told you, there's nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Joey: All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king.
Jester: No-body sees the king!
Joey: Oh-ho-kay, I'm talking to the king.
Jester: Hey! You can't go back there!
Janice: Oh my God.
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Chandler: Varrrrrroom! Hey! Watch it lady! Varrrrrrrrrrom! Hey-hey good lookin'! Varrrrrrrrroom. All right, I'll leave. My bed's so boring.
End