介绍： The Best Relationship Advice We’ve Heard So Far This Year
Building and maintaining healthy relationships takes work, but the payoff is huge. People with strong social ties lead happier lives. Romance and friendship are a boon to physical and mental health.
 
Of course, cultivating connection in a world that ...

介绍： The Best Relationship Advice We’ve Heard So Far This Year
Building and maintaining healthy relationships takes work, but the payoff is huge. People with strong social ties lead happier lives. Romance and friendship are a boon to physical and mental health.
 
Of course, cultivating connection in a world that feels increasingly lonely isn’t easy. 
 
With that in mind, here is some of our favorite advice those experts have shared with us so far this year.
 
Ask your partner something new every week.
Curiosity can help enliven a relationship, particularly if you and your partner have been together for decades, said Justin Garcia, executive director of the Kinsey Institute, the sexuality and relationships research center at Indiana University.
 
“Curiosity is a powerful, powerful tonic,” he argued, because it sends a clear message: I am interested in you.
 
One simple way to infuse your relationship with a bit of curiosity? Every week or so, ask your partner something new. It could be something deep or it could be something small and silly.
 
Don’t have a partner? It works with friends and family, too. 
Stop focusing so much on being right.
Terry Real, a couples therapist and the author “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, is a big fan of the maxim: “Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who cares?”
 
Partners often get too hung up on winning an argument, he said in a panel at the Well Festival in May — to the detriment of their relationship. He tells his clients to imagine their relationship as a “biosphere” that they must live within and nurture together. Often, protecting the biosphere is more important than scoring a point.
 
It’s not easy advice to follow, Mr. Real acknowledged. In the heat of the moment — when you’re fixated on somehow convincing your partner that you’re right — you might pause and ask: How do I want to spend my time? Do I really want to spend it arguing? Sometimes, the answer is yes! But other times, you can choose to prioritize compassion and collaboration for the sake of the biosphere.
 
Steer clear of this toxic tactic.
 
During a conflict, one person will air a grievance, Dr. Cordova said, “and the other person will respond with: ‘I know, I’m the worst. I’m a terrible partner. I don’t even know why you’re with me.’” Rather than dealing with the problem, Dr. Cordova said.
Dr. Cordova recommended that you affirm your partner’s experience (“I know it’s hard to receive feedback — it’s hard for me, too”), and reassure your partner that you care. Then reiterate that you need your partner to understand what you’re saying and why it matters, he said.
 
Go on a nostalgic date.
If you and your partner have been together for a long time, a nostalgic activity can boost your affection by enhancing your sense of belonging and commitment, said Ashley Thompson, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Minnesota, Duluth.
 
Avoid the silent treatment.
Some people think that using the silent treatment is a benign way of dealing with conflict, said Dr. Gail Saltz, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital.
 
It isn’t, she explained. “The silent treatment is a punishment, whether you are acknowledging that to yourself or not,” she said. It prolongs a conflict rather than solves it; and for the person who is being frozen out, it creates “anxiety and fear, and feelings of abandonment,” Dr. Saltz added.
 
Prioritize ‘me’ time.
Social well-being is shaped by a variety of daily interactions, from the small talk you make with a neighbor or colleague, to the deep talks you have with loved ones. But getting high-quality alone time is important, too. (Introverts, rejoice!)
 
“Because all social interactions are energy depleting, time alone is restorative,” explained Andy Merolla, of the University of California, Santa Barbara, and Jeffrey Hall, of the University of Kansas, in their book “The Social Biome.”
 
When you get a stretch of time to yourself, resist the urge to immediately pick up your phone, they said. Instead focus on stress reduction and activities that help quiet the body and mind — perhaps a little “hurkle-durkle”? Restorative solitude helps give you the energy to invest in your relationships.
 
boon /buːn/ n. 恩惠；益处
📗例句：Free public transport is a boon to city residents.
（免费公共交通是城市居民的福利。）
deplete /dɪˈpliːt/ v. 耗尽；使枯竭
📗例句：Long meetings deplete my energy quickly.
（冗长的会议很快耗尽我的精力。）
tactic /ˈtæktɪk/ n. 策略；手段
📗例句：Her favorite negotiation tactic is silence.
（她最喜欢的谈判策略是沉默。）
steer /stɪər/ v. 引导；驾驶
📗例句：Teachers steer students toward critical thinking.
（老师引导学生进行批判性思考。）
🥝搭配：steer clear of trouble 避开麻烦
nostalgic /nɒˈstældʒɪk/ adj. 怀旧的
📗例句：The old photos made her feel nostalgic.
（旧照片让她感到怀旧。）
benign /bɪˈnaɪn/ adj. 良性的；无害的
📗例句：The tumor was benign, to everyone’s relief.
（肿瘤是良性的，大家都松了口气。）
restorative /rɪˈstɔːrətɪv/ adj. 恢复精力的
📗例句：A hot bath has a restorative effect after work.
（下班后泡热水澡能恢复精力。）
reassure /ˌriːəˈʃʊər/ v. 使安心；打消疑虑
📗例句：He called to reassure his parents about his safety.
（他打电话让父母放心他的安全。）