介绍： 歌曲出自专辑"Family Guy: Live in Vegas"
网易云上就能搜到

On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
星期一我和巴尼·罗伯一起喝酒
We hit a couple divey little bars
我们去了几家破旧的小酒吧
We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
我们注意到有位非常动人的美女
Sitting at the table next to ours
就坐在我们隔壁的那桌...

介绍： 歌曲出自专辑"Family Guy: Live in Vegas"
网易云上就能搜到

On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
星期一我和巴尼·罗伯一起喝酒
We hit a couple divey little bars
我们去了几家破旧的小酒吧
We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
我们注意到有位非常动人的美女
Sitting at the table next to ours
就坐在我们隔壁的那桌
Now Barney who was pretty friggin’ wasted
当时巴尼已经踏马烂醉如泥
Got up and stumbled over with a groan
他呻吟着站起身，然后跌跌撞撞地走过去
He said , hey , just between us
他说，嘿，就你知我知
My Neanderthalic peniis
我的尼安德特牛子
Is as massive as a Stegosaurus bone !
大得像一根剑龙的骨头！

All cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生
They get their kicks from being pricks
他们的乐趣就是当闸种
It’s a quirk we just can’t fix
这样的怪癖我们也束手无策
Cause all cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
因为所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生

Did Barney really say that ?
巴尼真的说了那种话吗？
Oh , yeah , he is a bastard
噢，没错，他是个混蛋
Wow
哇哦
And he , and he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women
而且他，他真的一点都不关心女性的感受
And , uh , it’s sad
那，额，太令人失望了
It’s really sad
真是太令人失望了

Well , you think that’s bad , listen to this:
你要是觉得那已经够坏的了，听听这个吧：
One day I met an ape of great charisma
有天我遇见了一只气宇不凡的猩猩
Magilla the Gorilla was his name
马吉拉大猩猩是他的名字
He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
他戴着一顶小帽和配套的蝴蝶结领带
A fashion which has brought him great acclaim
这种打扮让他大受欢迎
I said , What do you see as your career peak
我说，你认为哪一次是你职业生涯的巅峰
Of all your many flashy escapades ?
在你这么多炫技般的冒险故事之中？
He said , Well this is funky
他说，虽然这很离谱
But you’re lookin' at the monkey
但你们正在观看的就是那只
Who’s responsible for bringing you the AIDS !
要为传染你们艾滋负责的猴子！

All cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生
They get their kicks from being pricks
他们的乐趣就是当闸种
It’s a quirk we just can’t fix
这样的怪癖我们也束手无策
Cause all cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
因为所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生

So he’s the culprit
所以说他就是那个罪魁祸首
I say , that is just awful
要我说，这也太可怕了

Ok , ok , listen to this little gem:
有了，有了，听听我的趣事：
I had a conversation at a party
一次聚会上我正在聊天
With famous rabbit hunter Elmer Fudd
和那个著名的兔子猎人爱发先生
He told me I just had to see his rifle
他说我一定得看看他的来福枪
And dropped it on the table with a thud
然后砰的一声扔在桌子上
I said to him , It’s quite a lovely firearm
我跟他说，确实是杆好枪
He told me his fiancee likes it too
他告诉我他的未婚妻也很喜欢
He said , This may be corny
他说，虽然可能粗俗又老套
But it really gets me horny
但还是让我嗯的不行
When I press it to her temple while we screw !
当我们座艾时把枪抵她脑门上！

All cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生
They get their kicks from being pricks
他们的乐趣就是当闸种
It’s a quirk we just can’t fix
这样的怪癖我们也束手无策
Cause all cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
因为所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生

Oh , God , that is one sick bastard
噢，我天，还是个变态的出生
Ooh , you’re not kidding
唔，你确实没说错
Yeah , that , uh , that kind of stuff is against the law too , I think
没错，那，额，那种事情还违法了，我觉得

Well , I got one that’s even worse than that:
我有个比那更过分的：
On Friday night I went to get some candy
星期五晚上我去买些糖果
Some soda and some chips and other stuff
汽水、薯片和一些别的东西
Along the way I passed a little alley
路上我经过一条小巷
And there I saw that canine cop McGruff
在那里我遇见了狗狗警察麦克格拉夫
I said to him , hey , you’re that famous crime dog !
我对他说，嘿，你就是那条著名的侦探狗！
He said , I only work from nine to five
他说，我只在9到5点上班
And now it’s close to tennish
虽然现在快10点了
And I’ve got a job to finish
但我还有份私活等着干
Cause as you can see , this hooker’s still alive !
因为如你所见，这个季女可还没屎透呢！

All cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生
They get their kicks from being pricks
他们的乐趣就是当闸种
It’s a quirk we just can’t fix
这样的怪癖我们也束手无策
Cause all cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
因为所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生

That’s awful !
太可怕了！
Ugh , imagine McGruff beating up hookers
噢，想象一下麦克格拉夫正在殴打季女
He is a dick , he is a dick !
他真是个出生，他就是个出生！

Yes , yes , he’s a nasty cartoon
确实，没错，他是个下三滥的卡通
But I can top that , listen to this:
但我的故事比那还离谱，听好了：
One day as I was strolling through the forest
有天我正漫步在森林里
I happened on some mushroom covered turf
我偶然发现了一片被蘑菇覆盖的草地
And there from underneath a patch of fungus
然后从一片菌子下面
Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
钻出了那位独一无二的蓝爸爸
He said , This is our secret mushroom village
他说，这里是我们的世外菇源
I said , Then I’m the first to see these views ?
我说，那我就是第一个看到你们的咯？
He said , I’m only kiddin'
他说，我就开个玩笑
'Cause we only keep it hidden
因为我们把村子藏起来
From the Asians , Arabs , faggots , blacks , and Jews !
只针对亚洲人、阿拉伯人、死基佬、黑人和犹太人！

All cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生
They get their kicks from being pricks
他们的乐趣就是当闸种
It’s a quirk we just can’t fix
这样的怪癖我们也束手无策
Cause all cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
因为所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生

That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster
那个蓝爸爸听起来像个怪物
Oh , he is a dirty , nasty racist
噢，他是个肮脏、下流的种族主义者
And a bigot , and a homophobe
还是个偏执狂、和反同人士
And you know what I did when I got home?
然后你们知道我回家以后干了啥吗？
What ?
干了啥？
I called up Gargamel
我打电话给格格巫
And I told him where the village is
然后把村子地址告诉了他
Hahahahahahahahaha !
哈哈哈哈哈哈！
Haha , Sweet !
哈哈，绝了！

Can I go next ?
下一个我来行不行？
Of course , sweetie
没问题，亲爱的
One day I met a...
有天我遇见了...
Holy crap , look who’s here , it’s Jason Alexander !
我超，看看是谁来了，是杰森·亚历山大！
Hey , cartoon haters
嘿，卡通黑子们
But , but I was supposed to go next !
但，但下一个本来应该是我的！
Quiet , honey , Mr. Alexander wants to talk
安静，亲爱的，亚历山大先生有话要说
I couldn’t help overhearing what you were talking about
我忍不住偷听了你们的谈话
And I agree
而且我也赞同
Cartoons are real fuckin’ assholes
卡通角色确实都是一帮踏马的混蛋
Yeah , that’s , uh , sorta what we’ve been trying to communicate
没错，那，额，差不多就是我们要传达的意思
Well , get a load of this
那么，仔细听听我这个
Hahaha , he said “load”
哈哈哈，他刚说“晶液”
Haha , hahaha , I know , I heard
哈哈，哈哈哈，我知道，我听到了

I once met Scooby Doo at a premiere bash
有一次我在首映发布会遇见了史酷比狗
He looked a little haggard and he stunk
他看起来有点憔悴还有一股臭味
He said , The trouble started last December
他说，麻烦还要从去年12月说起
When Daphne made a pass while she was drunk
达芙妮喝醉了和我调情
And now he’s got a child out of wedlock
现在他没结婚就有了个孩子
It’s dealing his career a fatal blow
这对他的事业造成了致命的打击
I asked him , Where’s the baby ?
我问他，孩子去哪了？
He said , Jason , buddy , maybe
他说，杰森，哥们，可能
Now you see why fuckin’ Scrappy’s gotta go !
现在你就会明白Scrappy踏马为什么要被删除了！

All cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生
They get their kicks from being pricks
他们的乐趣就是当闸种
It’s a quirk we just can’t fix
这样的怪癖我们也束手无策
Cause all cartoons are fuckin’ dicks
因为所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生

Wow , Scrappy is the bastard child of Scooby and Daphne
哇哦，Scrappy是史酷比和达芙妮的私生子
Shocking , isn’t it ?
哈人，不是吗？
Yeah
确实
Hey , you douche bags wanna wrap this up ?
嘿，你们这群沙雕要不要来做个总结？

So let us leave you now with one suggestion
那现在就让我们给你们补充个建议
A bit of wisdom you can take for free
一点小小的智慧再免费送给你们
The Mickeys and the Goofys and the Daffys
像米奇、高飞还有达菲鸭这样的卡通角色
Are not the gentle souls they seem to be
可不像他们看着的那么温柔善良
So any time Sylvester catches Tweety
所以每当傻大猫逮着了崔弟
Or Tom has got poor Jerry in a fix
或者汤姆让可怜的杰瑞陷入困境
( he’s in a fix )
( 他身处困境 )
Sit back and just observe it
坐下来只管好好看乐子吧
Cause the little shits deserve it
毕竟这些小比宰治都踏马活该
For all cartoons are fuckin’ dicks !
因为所有卡通角色都是踏马的出生！

So , when do we get to the off-color part of the album ?
所以说，我们什么时候开始这张专辑真正下流的部分？

Actually , if I can soften a mood a bit
实际上，如果我能舒缓一下情绪
I'd like to share a memory with you
我愿意和你们分享一段回忆
When we were filming "Road to Europe"
当我们拍摄“欧洲之行”这一集的时候
I got a chance to see the lovely city of Paris
我得到了一个机会去参观迷人的巴黎城

注：
Barney Rubble: 卡通《The Flintstones》，摩登原始人里的两位男主之一
Magilla the Gorilla: 卡通《The Magilla Gorilla Show》，马吉拉大猩猩秀的主角，这里玩的是艾滋病起源非洲大猩猩的梗
Elmer Fudd: 卡通《Bugs Bunny》，兔八哥里的爱发先生
McGruff: 卡通《McGruff the Crime Dog》，侦探狗麦克格拉夫里的主角
Papa Smurf: 卡通《The Smurfs》，蓝精灵里的蓝爸爸
Gargamel: 蓝精灵里的反派格格巫
Scooby Doo: 卡通《Scooby-Doo》，史酷比狗里的主角狗狗
Scrappy: 史酷比的侄子，现实里并没有真的被删除
Mickey: 迪士尼卡通里的米老鼠
Goofy: 迪士尼卡通里的高飞
Daffy: 卡通《Looney Tunes》，乐一通里的达菲鸭
Sylvester , Tweety: 卡通《Sylvester & Tweety》，傻大猫和崔弟
Tom , Jerry: 卡通《Tom and Jerry》，猫和老鼠